Neji's Fault
by MissViolinPin
Summary: Hinata never liked dresses as a child, preferring to mimic her cousin Neji. Hiashi assumed it was just a phase, but when she registered for school as a boy he faced the truth. His daughter was a cross-dresser. And it was all Neji's fault. AU ShikaHina!
1. Not a Phase

"Look, honey, look at the pretty dresses!" Hiashi Hyuuga tried in vain to capture his six-year-old daughter's attention, "See, this one's purple, your favorite color!" He waved the dress in front of Hinata's face, perhaps hoping she'd grab for it, like a kitten with a dangly toy. He was desperate. In the four hours they'd been shopping for her first day of school, Hinata had rejected every piece of cute clothing he'd shown her. Every yellow dress, every cerulean skirt, every lavender blouse, every pair of pink socks. Every color, every style. Hinata just didn't like clothes. _Oh dear god, _Hiashi thought, _please tell me she's not becoming a nudist!_ His face blanched at the mere thought of anyone seeing his darling daughter naked. Perhaps she was only six, but after all, it's never too early for a father to be overprotective of his loved ones.

"Father," Little Hinata tugged on his pant leg, "Father, can I get this one?" She held up a shirt. _Thank the heavens, she's not a nudist!_His mind had been in overdrive, showing unwanted pictures of Hinata naked on her first day of school, Hinata naked at the beach, Hinata naked on family vacation, a blushing Hinata naked at her prom with dozens of hormonal teenage boys staring blatantly at her chest—

"Father?" Hinata tried again, holding up the shirt she'd chosen for him to see. Hiashi blinked his mind free of the images and looked at the garment in her hand and almost—_almost_—wished she hadn't chosen any clothing. For, in her tiny hand, was indeed a shirt. A boy's shirt. More specifically, a t-shirt covered with camouflage and the words "Boyz Rule!" in large mustard yellow letters. It…

It wasn't cute at all! Before Hinata's mother had died, she and Hiashi had been so proud of being able to raise two adorable little daughters, and Hiashi had even helped plan out cute outfits for Easter and Christmas. The thought of his adorable Hinata in male clothing was repulsive! He was about to let her go naked when he compared the thought of Hinata naked at her prom to the thought of her in a tuxedo. He grimaced. Okay, so anything was better than nothing. And if this was what Hinata really wanted…

"Please Father?" She begged. Damn it. The shirt wasn't cute, but her puppy dog eyes were as adorable as ever. Honestly, were kids that small supposed to have eyes that huge and innocent and watery and so damn _cute?_Hiashi sighed.

"Of course sweetheart, whatever you want," he said, mentally waving a white flag as he crossed over to the boy's side of the store. In all likelihood it was only a phase after all. _But why does she want guy clothes anyway? _Hiashi wondered as Hinata finally showed an interest in clothes shopping, throwing khaki pants, polo shirts, and TMNT themed pajamas into the cart with enthusiasm.

"Now I'll fin'ly look like cousin Neji!" Hinata exclaimed as she compared a blue shark t-shirt to a red Hot-Wheels t-shirt before deciding to get both. Hiashi's eye twitched. He should've known. Hiashi's irresponsible _ass _of a twin brother had recently sent his illegitimate seven-year-old son, Neji, to live with them, and Hinata had taken to following him like a duckling, even going so far as to mimic his actions. Neji ran; Hinata ran. Neji played with blocks; Hinata played with blocks. Neji tried to jump off a 40-story building; Hinata tried to jump off a 40-story building—that one had been a close call, and Hiashi would _never_leave those children unattended in a skyscraper again. How they even managed to get on the roof (which required rather high security-clearance) was anyone's guess. He thanked the heavens that Hanabi, Hinata's little sister, was too young yet to walk, therefore preventing her from joining in on (most of) their mischief.

It was only natural that Hinata would take her hero-worship to the next level. Still, Hiashi was blaming this fiasco on Neji. That boy was damn lucky this would only be phase.

* * *

It wasn't just a phase. It had been 5 years and Hinata had grown out of her Neji obsession but not her love of male clothing. Now she was constantly mistaken for a guy. A pretty guy, but a guy nonetheless. She was too young to develop curves and she always kept her hair short, claiming she didn't like brushing it. And although her voice was rather high, she was still young enough that a boy her age could sound like her. Besides, she was so timid in public most people never heard her speak anyway.

Hiashi looked across the breakfast table at his youngest daughter, Hanabi. Today was now her first day of school. She wore a lovely lavender sundress with white shoes and a violet ribbon in her long, neatly combed hair. Hiashi felt his heart soar with pride. Hanabi was just so cute! A picture perfect Hyuuga daughter.

"Father," Hanabi looked at him, "I have a question."

"What is it sweetie? Nervous about school?" Hiashi asked.

"No, I'm not. I was just wondering…"

"Yes?"

"Um, is—is Hinata a boy or a girl?" She asked quickly, nervous about her father's reaction. She just wasn't sure! Hiashi choked on the toast he'd been eating.

"W-what?!" Hanabi winced.

"Well, I mean Hinata is my sister so that means she's a girl but, well, she (he?) is always wearing guy clothes like Neji and you said only guys wear guy clothes and girls wear girl clothes right?"

"W-well, yes," Hiashi responded, "that's how it usually is but Hinata—who is a girl by the way—likes wearing guy clothes, so she can. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just… not normally done," Hiashi tiptoed carefully around explaining Hinata's cross-dressing.

"…Oh." The two ate the rest of their breakfast in silence. When they had both finished, Hiashi handed Hanabi her backpack and bag lunch and he drove her to school. Hinata and Neji were both going to junior high, which didn't start for another day, but he would soon be driving them too. He could never trust those public school buses…

* * *

When he arrived back home, Hiashi noticed that Hinata and Neji were already up and dressed. Neji wore a pair of khaki shorts and a dark blue t-shirt. Hinata wore a pair of blue jeans, a red Spiderman t-shirt and red baseball cap covering her mop of uncombed short black hair. "Morning kids," He greeted.

"Morning father!" Hinata said brightly while Neji grunted. Hiashi smiled. Hinata was still cute when she looked like a guy. That didn't stop him from wishing she'd wear a dress of course. She was going to Suna's all-girl's junior high tomorrow, where the uniform required a skirt and Hiashi couldn't be happier. _She'll be so adorable!_His inner fangirl squealed. He stopped to make sure none of his inner fangirl was visible on his face. Hyuugas are far too composed to fangirl (publicly).

"Did you register for school?" He asked. He knew both his children (Neji had long since become a son to him, even if he did make Hinata a cross-dresser) were responsible, and had probably enrolled months ago during summer vacation, but he wanted to be sure.

"Yes Uncle," Neji replied carefully, "We are both enrolled at Suna's all-boy academy as of last week." Hinata had dreaded the prospect of going to an all-girls school, since most of the girls already teased her, and she'd always gotten along better with guys. And the thought of her wearing a skirt was just… odd. When filling out the registration forms Neji had taken pity on her and marked Hinata as a boy and used her middle name, Hisoka. It was a considerably less girly name and would help her blend in with the guys.

Hiashi was speechless. "You're… You're _both _enrolled at…"

"Suna's all-boy academy. Yes father," Hinata replied, not surprised at his reaction. It was no secret that Hiashi's inner fangirl squealed at the thought of Hinata wearing a proper dress. It was written all over his face. He wouldn't let her go without a fight, but Hinata and Neji had planned this out, prepared to counter anything Hiashi had to say against it.

"But, but you're a girl," her father stuttered out, "is that even allowed?"

"We talked to the assistant principal, Baki. He was very understanding; apparently the principal's daughter went through a tomboy phase when she was younger," Neji replied. Hiashi twitched. When had these children gone to see the assistant principal?! He searched his brain for another reason to prevent his daughter from cross-dressing for another four years.

"Well, won't Hinata hit puberty during her time in junior high? Surely someone will notice a couple of things…" Hiashi tried. His kids were geniuses, but surely they couldn't beat mother nature, right?

"Actually TenTen helped us with that," Neji replied again to his uncle's dismay, "Her mom owns a costume shop. She gave Hinata a special corset and everything. No one will be able to tell she's a girl if she doesn't want to tell."

"Her mom even gave me some voice acting lessons, so I can sound like a boy if I need to," Hinata added in a rather masculine and eerily convincing voice. Even Neji did a double take.

"W-well, You're not going and that's final!" Hiashi had had enough of this. His daughter would be a proper, well-raised, feminine, Hyuuga daughter. There was a moment of silence.

"…"

"…"

Hiashi was not going to look. He know what she was doing and he was NOT going to look, dammit.

"P-pleeease father?" Hinata almost whined in her highest, most adorable voice.

Don't look. Don't look. Don't loo—dammit. He looked. _Aren't kids supposed to grow out of the puppy dog eyes? _Hiashi wondered as his defenses crumbled.

"Fine. We'll see how this goes," Hiashi waved his white flag again, "but only for a few weeks!" He knew he wasn't fooling anyone. Hinata would be going to a boy's school as long as she wanted; all three of them knew that. It was time for Hiashi to face the cold, blunt truth. His daughter was a cross-dresser. _And it's all Neji's fault, _he thought viciously, glaring at the boy who seemed all too smug.

* * *

The two Hyuuga cousins stood on the steps of Suna's all-boy academy; the large building, built from sandstone bricks, loomed over them. There were three floors. The first consisted of a cafeteria, which doubled as a place for the boys to hang out before or after school, a gymnasium, an auditorium, a main office, an athletic office, and a counseling office. The art and music departments were also part of this floor, since all grades used them. The second floor contained all of the lockers and classes for sixth and seventh grade, the grades Neji and Hinata were going into. The last floor had everything for the eighth and ninth graders.

"You know where your classes are?" Neji glanced at Hinata. She nodded. They'd gotten their schedules when they'd visited Baki. Her first class was Health, room 221. "And you have your lunch?" Neji asked. She silently held up the brown paper lunch bag her father had packed, with 'Hisoka Hyuuga' written on it in permanent marker. Neji marveled at how silent the girl was in public. Hinata, while not overly chatty, was certainly talkative around her family but rarely spoke around people she didn't know.

They entered the school and climbed the stairs to the second level. Neji went left, towards his locker, while Hinata went right, towards hers. She looked around. All the boys seemed to be in groups, laughing and pushing each other around. They all wore the Suna uniform like Hinata: crimson pants, a white shirt, a gold colored vest, a red and gold tie, and an optional crimson jacket. Most of the boys weren't wearing the jacket, as it was still rather warm out, being only September.

After visiting her locker, Hinata made her way to Health, where she began her first day as Hisoka Hyuuga. After Health she had science, orchestra and Suna history. Then, she had lunch.

Hinata stared at the cafeteria with a degree of fear. The school lunch had been spaghetti, which the more artistic students had used to decorate the walls. The athletic students, however, had chosen to play "dodge-lunch" with their meals, effectively adding an extra hour of gym to their schedules. Most of the others cowered under the long lunch tables. If there had ever been any supervisors they'd jumped ship, leaving about seven responsible students (Neji included) to try to stop the food fight. Hinata backed out into the hallway slowly so she wouldn't draw attention to herself as a target. She then ran up the stairs, clutching her lunch, hoping to get as far away from the cafeteria as possible.

It wasn't long before she reached the roof. She looked out over the scenery with a soft smile. She'd always loved heights, but her father never liked her near them. Something about Neji and a skyscraper…

Well, her father wasn't here, and this looked like the perfect place to have a calm, quiet lunch. There was one other boy up here, she noticed. His hair was an interesting shade—the same color as his uniform. He was sitting with his legs dangling over the edge. Hinata sat down next to him and opened her lunch. She looked at it and grimaced. Her father always forgot to pack fruit. The boy next to her looked at her lunch before offering her an orange. She smiled and took it.

It soon became their habit to eat up there together, neither of them saying a word. Hinata discovered his name later that day when she realized they were in the same English class. They never spoke to each other, but they never really spoke to anyone else, so it was no surprise when they chose each other as partners for their end-of-the-year English project: a presentation on ancient Egypt, specifically pharaohs. They could do it in any format they wished. They chose to do it as a silent movie.

* * *

"Wow, Gaara. You managed to find a friend as quiet as you. I didn't think that was possible!" Kankuro teased his brother, "Did you guys just bond over profound silence or something?"

Gaara glared. Hinata continued to plot out their silent film. They were working on it at Gaara's house because Hiashi didn't allow Hinata to bring boys home, even if they did think she was male.

"Shut up Kankuro, you don't want to scare Hisoka away!" Temari scolded Kankuro. They'd both been astonished when their brother had brought a real, live, human being home. "So, Hisoka Hyuuga right? Would Neji happen to be your brother?" She asked. Hinata shook her head.

"Cousin," she replied. All three sand siblings took a moment to stare at her before Temari continued the conversation.

"Oh, um, cool. Kankuro, isn't Neji on your soccer team? He's the cute one with long hair right?"

"Erm, yeah…" Kankuro and Temari continued to make awkward conversation, occasionally trying to drag one of the two mutes into it. They both responded with gestures, monosyllables if necessary, until Gaara gave them a death glare so the two could work in peace, and more importantly, silence.

* * *

AN: Hooray! My first fanfic! I'm not sure where the idea for this came from, all I know is I waned to make Hinata a crossdresser and somehow, for some reason, it had to be Neji's fault. I'm really nervous about this story, and I'd really appreciate reviews! If you do review could you please tell me: What you liked, What I could do better, and ERRORS. If I make mistakes, grammar or continuity, I want to know please!

In case you were wondering, Hisoka means secret or shy. Two of the baby name sites I visited said it was male, two said it was unisex so. :P This won't all be at Suna by the way. I'm probably going to have a timeskip and switch the scene to Konoha and introduce lot's of other peole next chapter (that is, if anyone is interested in a next chapter). Finally, this is a Romance/Humor story, so Hinata WILL be paired with someone, BUT it won't be Kiba or Naruto. 'Cause I like crack pairings. I have one specific character in mind who shall appear next chapter, but if you want to suggest someone, be my guest. Nothing is in stone quite yet. Thanks for reading!


	2. Bonjour Konoha!

"—and that, class, is how you diagram a sentence with adjectives. Now, to do it with a preposition at the beginning of the sentence…" Gaara stopped paying attention to the teacher at that point. Diagramming sentences had to be the dullest grammatical skill imaginable. He glanced sideways at his friend, who struggled to stay awake while paying strict attention to their teacher. Gaara pulled out a clean sheet of paper and drew a small doodle on it before passing it to his friend.

Hinata looked at the doodle. It consisted of two stick figures, one labeled 'Gaara' and one 'Hisoka'. The Gaara stick figure was pointing a sword at Hisoka. Hinata grinned. This was one of their favorite games. There weren't really any rules, she just had to save herself, then draw Gaara being killed. She drew a tiny shield for Hisoka before drawing a grenade next to Gaara and passed it back to him. When it returned, Gaara had hid behind a wall of sandbags and Hisoka was being chased by raptors, which he hid from in a tunnel after throwing Gaara off a cliff. The game continued as their English teacher droned on, and by the time the bell had rung, the doodle war had grown to epic proportions, with Gaara fighting his way off a zombie infested replica of the Titanic (complete with iceberg of doom) and Hisoka slicing his way out of a poisonous 30-foot crocodile in the Nile River with a broken spork.

The two were still pretty quiet around each other, even after almost four years, but they had taken to passing notes like these in class, sometimes containing games and sometimes conversations. Occasionally they'd just draw pictures and share them.

As Gaara packed up his stuff, Hinata grabbed her lunch and waited for him. They still ate together up on the roof, only braving the cafeteria on days when it was cold or rainy. Once they were on the roof, Hinata knew she'd have to bring something up with him.

"Um, G-gaara?" It had been a while since she'd talked as a boy.

"Hn."

"My father got a promotion… in Konoha. We," She swallowed, her voice had cracked a little, "we're all moving at the end of the school year," Hinata finished, waiting anxiously for his reaction. She considered Gaara her best friend.

Gaara looked up. That was in less than two weeks. He set down his ham sandwich to find the paper from before. After finding an empty corner he wrote down his e-mail address. "Stay in touch." Hinata smiled.

"I will."

oOoOo

Hiashi carefully parked the car in his new garage. Their new house was much nicer than their old one, and consisted of two stories instead of one. Plus, both the attic and the basement were fully furnished. They'd spent most of yesterday and the day before unpacking, discovering heaps of things they hadn't known they owned. Including but not limited too: a drum set, a computer from 1990, a pottery wheel, the complete works of William Shakespeare and three and a half sets of fine china. Hiashi's bedroom was on the first floor, and Hanabi and Neji both had one on the second. Hinata had staked a claim on the attic as soon as they'd arrived.

He was glad everyone had adjusted so well to the move. He'd been worried about Hinata, since she was moving away from her best friend, but she didn't seem too put out. She still sent at least one e-mail to him a day though. Neji had been happy about the move because TenTen, one of his childhood friends, had moved to Konoha a year ago and he hadn't seen her since. And Hanabi... He couldn't really tell with Hanabi. She had ended up the almost opposite of Hinata, more reserved around family but outgoing with friends. Although she did seem excited at the idea of a new house.

Hanabi was entering sixth grade this year. She would be attending the public middle school, which went from grades six to eight. Hinata and Neji were also going into the local public school, Konoha High. There wasn't a uniform, but he was sure Hinata would insist as registering as Hisoka anyways. Hiashi sighed.

Hinata had now been cross-dressing for almost ten years. She'd spent twice as much time acting like a boy than a girl in her lifetime. Sometimes Hiashi wished he'd stopped it all when Hinata was little, but then he remembered how happy she was being who she was and the joy her freedom gave her, and it was all worth it. Hiashi stepped out of the car, grabbing two bags of groceries before heading inside.

"Groceries need to come in!" He called from the front door before heading to the kitchen.

"Did you remember to get fruit?" Hinata asked as she started heading outside to grab the food.

"I got apples for Neji, cherries for Hanabi, and oranges for you," He called back as he put away said fruits.

"I don't like fruit," Hanabi deadpanned while putting on her pink flip-flops.

"Well you've never had cherries, have you?" Her father responded. This was true, cherries were ridiculously hard to come by in Suna. Most fresh fruit was, really.

"I won't like them." Hiashi suppressed his urge to act as childish as his daughter and roll his eyes. Hinata walked in carrying three bags bursting with food.

"Only two bags left, you can get them Hanabi. Where's Neji?" Hinata questioned as Hanabi walked out the door.

"Out applying for jobs."

"Not three days in Konoha and he's already trying to get a summer job. Neji's such an overachieving bastard."

"Hinata!" Her father was appalled at her language.

"Well he is!" Hinata argued.

"Neji's a bastard? Wait, what's a bastard?" Hanabi asked as she walked in with the final two bags of groceries. Hiashi could feel a headache coming on.

"Now look what you've done," he mumbled to Hinata when she passed him on the way to her room, ridiculously smug.

oOoOo

The summer passed quickly for the Hyuugas. Hiashi wasted no time in starting his new job while having difficulty finding one of his own. "Do you know why they said they can't hire me? Do you? Because I don't have enough 'local experience'," Neji moaned to TenTen one night after losing a job at a downtown appliance store, "Local experience? It's a job selling blenders! Are Konoha blenders more complicated than Suna blenders or something?" TenTen could only laugh at his suffering, reminding him that her mother could give him a job advertising her costume shop. Which would, of course, require Neji to dress up in a new, ridiculous costume each day.

Hanabi, meanwhile, was spending much of her time at the local pool, making new friends and burning her skin to a crisp in doomed attempts at tanning. Hinata had trouble keeping in her giggles when her sister was around. "You," Hinata had another fit of laughter, "You look like a tomato! No, a cherry!"

"Shut up! Cherries are disgusting!" Hanabi still refused to eat cherries.

Hinata spent much of her time e-mailing Gaara, reading, drawing, and painting. Her doodles with Gaara had really helped her realize a love of art. Other times she'd take Hiashi's camera and explore some of Konoha's many forested hiking paths, snapping pictures along the way. Once, she had been taking a picture of the sky through the needles of a large pine tree when a large beetle landed on her upturned face. Shocked, she let out a high-pitched shriek. Instinctively her hands brushed against her face until the bug fell. Hinata had never been more grateful for the strap around her neck keeping the camera from crashing to the ground.

"Oi, you okay there?" A voice called from behind her. Hinata jumped.

"Ye-" she stopped, remembering to deepen her voice, "yeah, I'm fine. Just a b-bug."

"Aww man. You're a dude. With the pitch of that shriek I was hoping you'd be a damsel in distress," She turned to see a large white dog loping down the path, followed closely by two teens, one of whom was talking to her, "It really was high. Are you sure you're not a girl?" He joked.

"Gosh, I'm n-not sure," Hinata said sarcastically, concentrating on keeping her voice from cracking, "D-do you want me to check?"

"Ha! No thanks dude, I'll take your word for it. I'm Kiba by the way. Please tell me if you see any girls around here, I really need a girlfriend," He pouted, showing a remarkable resemblance to his dog. Hinata had to struggle to keep from giggling. Her laugh was unmistakably feminine.

"I'm—I'm Hisoka," she said. She kneeled on the ground to get a better look at the bug that had spooked her. And so she could hide the hand covering her mouth. The bug really wasn't that scary when it wasn't on her eye. It was the color of dark chocolate and about the size of a penny.

"June bug," a voice behind her said as she picked it up, scaring her for a third time.

"Jeez Shino, don't traumatize the guy." Shino ignored him.

"Do you want it?" Shino asked.

"W-what?"

"Because I collect bugs. If you don't want it that is," Shino replied to her shocked inquiry.

"N-no, feel free." Hinata turned her hand over, letting the bug fall into a plastic container Shino had brought out. She thought Shino looked happier with the bug in his possession, but she couldn't really tell, what with his hood and glasses hiding most of his face.

"Don't mind him Hisoka, he's a creepy bug boy," Kiba chimed.

"Don't mind him, he's an idiotic dog boy," Shino deadpanned.

"Hey! I am not a dog boy! I am a dog _man_," Kiba responded, "And I'm not idiotic!" He added after a pause. After that day the three would often take walks together. Hinata and Shino usually let Kiba and his dog, Akamaru, make all the noise while they admired the scenery. And the bugs.

oOoOo

About a week before school started, Hinata took one last walk on her own around sunset. Walking with Kiba and Shino was fun, but Kiba made it almost impossible to achieve a peaceful atmosphere so she could concentrate on photography. After following her favorite trail, she emerged from the forest, appearing on the side of a large hill. There was lots of open space and the perfect view of the sky and the sunset. She sat down on the hill, watching the clouds. Today they were wisps and swirls made all the more beautiful in their transformation from gold to pink. She'd been taking her fourth picture when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Pretty, aren't they?" someone behind her asked. She nodded as they sat down. "Chouji never gets why I like looking at the sky, you know. Says it's boring. And he's right I guess. But clouds, those are interesting." Hinata smiled and nodded before looking sideways at her new companion. He wore jeans and a gray t-shirt, and his hair was in the most ridiculous ponytail. His face was intense, as if concentrating on something, but his eyes and body were lazy and relaxed. He noticed her looking at him and spoke again, "Shikamaru Nara."

"Hisoka Hyuuga," she replied. They watched the clouds as the sky darkened, before Shikamaru began to leave.

"You're the new kid in our grade, aren't you?" he asked. "I was assigned the troublesome task of showing you around. I'll see you at school, I guess," he said before wandering off. Hinata left the hillside to head home not long after.

oOoOo

Hinata and Neji stood at Konoha High School's entrance together. The exterior was modern, made out of tan brick with a few forest green stripes here and there. The school was much larger than the one in Suna. While still only three stories, it took up nearly twice as much space. Plus, where Suna had three fields used for almost all sports interchangeably, Konoha had at least four general fields, plus two for football, four sand volleyball courts, one outdoor track, two indoor tracks, five indoor gym sections, a weight room, two wrestling rooms, a horseshoe area, and a pool. Not to mention their auditorium could hold almost 500 more people. It was easily the largest school the cousins had been to.

The school had no official uniform, so they both were dressed in casual clothes. Neji wore a navy blue t-shirt with khaki shorts while Hinata wore a faded green polo and jeans. "Have a good day at school!" Hiashi called out from the car behind them before driving off. The two looked at each other before walking through the doors with the rest of the mass of people. Inside was a large, spacious, blue and green carpeted commons area filled with round tables. On either end was a wall of windows looking outside, and to their right one story up was another wall of windows, this one looking into the school's library. On top of the library a few computer labs were visible. And, right in the center of the commons was…

"Is… is that a bridge?" Neji asked.

"Yes it is! That bridge represents our power as youthful learners to work together and overcome adversity to reach our glorious goals by the time we graduate from this magnificent establishment of education!" Both cousins jumped at the energetic voice to their right. Hinata immediately recognized Shikamaru, who was standing next to the speaker. "You must be the Hyuugas! I am Rock Lee, a representative of KHS's illustrious student council, here to escort Neji Hyuuga throughout our lovely school!" Neji turned greener than Lee's shirt at the prospect of spending all day with the loudmouth.

"Hey Hisoka. I'm s'posed to show you around and, and," Shikamaru yawned, "and stuff. 'Parently I'm in all your classes." Shikamaru handed her a schedule, "C'mon, your first class is over here." Hinata followed him, nervous that Shikamaru would fall asleep on her. He seemed barely awake as he directed her to the art room. Her first class was advanced painting, something that greatly excited her. The first person who caught her eye as she entered the room was a loud, purple haired woman covered in paint and currently shouting at someone.

"Whad'dya mean there's no paper? Damn it Ebisu, these kids are in my class to _paint,_ and unless you suggest we paint the freaking _walls_, I just don't see how that's possible without PAPER!" The woman emphasized certain words by waving her multicolored hands around, sending drops of green, red, and purple everywhere, particularly towards Ebisu, who struggled to dodge the color, not wanting it to brighten his pristine black shirt.

"I-I'm sorry Anko I d-didn't kn-now we were out! I could lend you some of m-my student's drawing paper," He offered, clearly frightened of Anko.

"_Drawing_ paper Ebisu?" Anko drawled, "_Drawing paper?! _That wimpy excuse for an art material? That overpriced printer paper wouldn't stand a chance against a single drop of decent paint! Forget it! Sai, grab some washable paint; we're painting the sidewalk today class!" She shouted as she stormed out the door. Hinata had been so caught up with the argument she hadn't noticed the rest of the class filing in, nor had she noticed the bell.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru mumbled as they followed the rest of the class out the doors. Outside, Anko began taking attendance.

"Yeah, yeah, you're all here except for… SAKURA!" Anko bellowed, "Where's Naruto?"

"Lazy butt overslept," a pink-haired girl replied as she filled in a piglet in her farm scene.

"Oh good," Anko smirked, "I need someone to clean all my brushes in detention." Anko took a moment to observe the class. "Shikamaru! What the hell are you painting?"

"Sidewalk." Anko twitched.

"No, what are you painting _on_ the sidewalk?"

"I told you. Sidewalk." Shikamaru was currently coating his square of sidewalk with paint almost exactly the same shade, only a little bit more grey. He'd also added a few details, like cracks and weeds. Anko wasn't happy, but let him slide this time. She studied Hinata's square, which was currently being decorated with a sun and clouds.

"Hmm… Hisoka, right?" Hinata nodded. "Good work, but you should use a different color for shading the clouds. Something more blue. But your sun is great, the spiral shape makes it unique." Hinata smiled at the complement before Anko moved on to criticize another unsuspecting student's work.

oOoOo

It only took Neji three and a half minutes to effectively tune out Lee's explanation of each and every symbol of youthfulness in the school (apparently even the height of the library's bookshelves represented great youth) on their way to French 2. Neji was comforted by the fact that Lee would have to shut up when he got to class. That is, until he met his French teacher.

"Bonjour class!" The teacher, who wore even more green than Lee paused expectantly. The class stared blankly at him. Only Lee responded.

"Bonjour Monsieur Gai!" He shouted.

"Just Lee? You are all spirits of youth! Show me your energy and enthusiasm to greet the day! Let's try that again. Bonjour class!"

"Bonjour Monsieur," a few students mumbled. It was almost sad watching Gai's face fall.

"Now class, we must strive to do better! Shall I get out the repeat-o-meter?" Neji heard a groan next to him. He turned, surprised to see TenTen there.

"Repeat-o-meter?" He whispered to TenTen.

"You don't want to know. Just say bonjour." The next greeting went to Gai's satisfaction and the repeat-o-meter wasn't necessary. Yet.

"Voila! Now class, I know it has been a long, tedious three months that you have not spoken the wonderful language of love, so I thought we would do something fun today, c'est bon? C'est bon!" He passed out a paper. Neji began to look it over, deliberately ignoring the fluffy, vacant eyed kittens stuffed into every available corner.

"Oh dear god, no. He isn't really going to have us—" Neji began, but was cut off.

"D'accord class! Today we shall read _Va t'en Grand Monstre Vert!_" Neji groaned. He hated reading kid's books. He'd always made Hinata read to Hanabi when they were younger. "But that's not all, class! Today I thought we'd have people acting it out! Now, who wants to be the big green monster?" Gai continued. He pulled out a pile of furry green cloth. Neji could only assume this was the monster's costume. Only Lee raised his hand.

"Lee! You are an excellent pupil! Tu est magnifique! But you've already had a chance to be the monster. It's only fair to let your comrades have a chance to channel their youth!" Lee looked disappointed.

"C'est vrai! Monsieur Gai, I think mon ami Neji should be the monster in my place!"

_What?!_

Before Neji registered what was happening, he was dragged from his desk and forced into the costume. For the rest of the hour his face burned with embarrassment under his monster mask. As soon as class got out, TenTen walked out with him, nearly dying of laughter. There was truly no better sport than Neji torture.

"You were pretty good at that Neji," she choked out, "are you sure you don't want my mom giving you a job?" Neji glared at her.

"You know what? Yes. I'll take that job. If I'm going to embarrass myself I might as well get paid. Now hide me from Lee!" They ducked behind a row of lockers, while Lee ran past, shouting something about the joys of Geometry.

oOoOo

After art, Shikamaru and Hinata began to head towards honors advanced algebra. "Um, where c-can I find the b-bathroom?" Hinata asked, holding up her paint covered hands. Shikamaru had kept his relatively clean, but Hinata had managed to coat herself in blue and yellow. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, noticing it was the first time she'd spoken that day. _And there's something odd about his speech patterns,_ he thought to himself.

"There's one right there, to the right." He gestured to a boys bathroom. "Our next class is just up the stairs and to the left." Hinata nodded before entering the bathroom.

She was about to turn on the sink when she stopped, hearing something. _Was that a moan?_ Hinata thought. She looked around the wall separating the stalls and urinals from the sinks and immediately pulled her, now furiously blushing face, away. There was another moan from behind the wall, where she'd seen a blonde eagerly making out with another boy. "Naruto…" one moaned. Hinata blushed even more furiously before walking swiftly out of the bathroom. She chose to wash her hands in the girl's bathroom, hoping no one would notice her, before she headed up to her class, still sporting a feircly glowing blush.

oOoOo

**AN: Thank you everyone for all the magnificent reviews! They made me oh so very happy! I couldn't stop giggling while reading them, and they really inspired me to finish this chapter! I'm so glad you all like this story! Bleh, look at all those exclamation marks, Lee and Gai are rubbing off on me. Oh, and if you think Gai is an odd choice for a French teacher? He's almost exactly like Madame, my French teacher. But Madame is worse. Take out a few of the youthful adjectives and you've got Madame. I wasn't exaggerating (effing repeat-o-meter). And of course, KHS is definitely based on my school. Oh yeah, there's a bridge.**

**Finally, romance! If the whole sunset scene didn't give it away, the pairing I was planning on was ShikaHina. So if you have any major objections to that, tell me in a review or something. Oh, and yes, that was a little yaoi at the end. If you don't like yaoi: sorry, but I do. And I'm the author so there WILL be a yaoi side pairing in here.**

**THANKS A MILLION FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY!**

**(Oh, and because I forgot before: I OWN NOTHING)**


	3. No, Not the Rosebush!

After TenTen safely escorted Neji to his next class, honors advanced algebra, without any sign of Lee, Neji finally let his guard down. He found his desk and sat down, looking around the room for anyone he knew. TenTen wasn't in this class, she was in regular advanced algebra, so he didn't recognize anyone. Until a green shirt flashed in the corner of his eye, causing him to fall out of his desk.

"Gaah! No! No more green!" he begged, covering his sensitive eyes as he rolled on the ground.

"…" Hinata gave him an odd look. Neji hadn't had any problems with her shirt, a faded green polo, that morning. She shrugged and sat down next to Shikamaru, who looked up as she sat down.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked. Hinata gave him a questioning look. He pointed a finger at her face, which was still glowing red from the unofficially dubbed "bathroom incident". Hinata blushed harder and was thankful for their teacher's interruption, which distracted Shikamaru just enough to prevent her from needing to answer him.

"Listen up! My name is Mr. Ibiki Morino, and today we are going to start with a test. It _will_ be worth points and will be the first entry in your grade book," the large man in front of the room continued as the class reacted with a mixture of shock and dread, "This test consists of fifteen questions, all things you are expected to know. This is a very advanced course for juniors, so you few sophomores in here will have to work extra hard." He gave Hinata a very pointed look before she ducked her head down to look at her test before flinching.

_Sin cos what now?_ Hinata's eyes widened. She didn't know any of these terms! She looked at the first question and only knew every other word. All the words she did know were the ones like 'what', 'is', 'the', 'of', and 'a'. _What the heck is a cycloid? Or a parameterization? _She skipped to the next question, which was slightly easier. _The area of a perfect hexagon? I think I learned that last year…_ Hinata continued to write down answers to the problems she could solve, and took wild guesses on the ones she didn't.

"If any of those problems were exceptionally difficult for you, I would suggest you either be prepared to work extra hard in this class or think about dropping down to a lower math class while you still can," Ibiki said as he collected the tests, "I'll have scores posted online tonight so you can see how you did."

The bell rang. A third of the students who left the room were green (Neji included, to his horror), one or two girls were in tears, a good fourth were red faced and sweating, and almost everyone else appeared similarly traumatized. The only two who weren't were Shikamaru, who looked ready to fall asleep, and Sasuke Uchiha, another one of the only four sophomores in the class.

"Next is…" Shikamaru glanced at his schedule, "Band. You coming?"

"Um, I-I wanted to talk with Mr. Morino," Hinata stuttered out. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. _Why does his voice seem odd to me? _Shikamaru wondered again.

"The band room is on the first floor, the first room on the right in the music department. Think you can find it Hisoka?" he asked. Hinata nodded before ducking back into the class.

"M-Mr. Morino?" For once Hinata's stuttering had less to do with keeping her voice from cracking and more with being nervous. Ibiki was a scary guy after all. "I," Hinata gulped, "I was wondering ho-how I d-did on my test."

Ibiki looked up from the tests he was correcting and shuffled through them, pulling out one with "Hisoka Hyuuga" written on it. Hinata began to panic at the amount of red ink covering the page.

"Hisoka," Ibiki said, holding up her test, "you got seven out of fifteen correct." _Less than half! An F! _Hinata felt like crying.

"P-please Mr. Morino I," her voice shot up, she gulped to deepen it again, "could I p-please come in, in after sch-school to get s-some extra help? I c-could come in t-tomorrow morn—" Ibiki cut her off.

"You did better than the majority of the class."

Hinata was stunned.

Ibiki continued, "that test was meant as a general test of skill level. It was graded for completion, not accuracy. The average student at this level really should only get three right. The questions were purposely difficult to measure how much you could figure out on your own. "

"B-but you said—" Hinata was cut off again.

"If anyone drops out of my class it will be because they lack self confidence and proper work ethic, two things far more important to your success in this room than natural skill."

Hinata was silent, but jumped in shock when the bell rang, announcing the beginning of the next period. "Relax, Hisoka, I'll write you a pass," Ibiki assured her. She visibly relaxed. "Oh, and Hisoka?" Ibiki called out to her as she walked out the door, pass in hand, "If you do ever need help in my class, feel free to stop by after school."

oOoOo

Hinata stood at the entrance to the band room with a certain degree of fear, reminded all too much of the cafeteria at Suna. She'd found the band room without any problems, but she was worried by the amount of chaos taking place within it.

People scrambled to find and set up their instruments, some of them appeared to have forgotten how to get them ready to play over the summer. She watched as a robust student eyed his French horn with confusion, as if trying to figure out where the sound came out. Other students were attempting to tune their instruments, causing a wall of off-key screeches, honks and clashes that made Hinata wince.

She spotted Neji hiding behind a stack of folders, his oboe in hand. Curious as to why he was cowering in a corner, she walked over to him.

"What are you doing?" Hinata asked in her normal voice, confident that no one would hear her in the corner over all the commotion. Neji looked up and flinched at the sight of her green shirt before registering her voice.

"Remember Lee? From this morning?" he whispered. Hinata nodded, confused. "Don't _ever_ tell him where I am. He, he kept talking about youth, and the French teacher, and the symbols and, and, and oh dear GOD the _GREEN!_" he cried out before realizing his mistake and covering his mouth with both hands.

"Is that the joyful voice of the youthful Neji that I hear?"

Hinata could only stare in shock as Lee dragged a sobbing Neji away to hear his "serenade of youth" played on Lee's very own—very green—tuba.

"I didn't know tubas came in green," Hinata murmured to herself.

"Oi! Hisoka! Over here!" Hinata turned to see Kiba gesturing excitedly with his saxophone. Shino stood nearby with what appeared to be a piccolo. Hinata grabbed her flute before heading over to sit next to them.

"So I heard that lazy butt Shikamaru is showing you around, huh?" Hinata nodded. "Ha! So that's why he got out of bed this morning. Usually he doesn't start coming to school for another week, when his mom officially kicks him out of bed."

"I'd take offense to that if I wasn't so, so," Shikamaru yawned, "so tired." Hinata hadn't noticed him sleeping on the drum set behind them. _How can he sleep in this noise? _Hinata wondered.

"Damn you're lazy Shika. Hey, does anyone know when the conductor is supposed to show up? It's been like, thirty minutes or something," Kiba asked.

"It's only been twenty-four. He's not coming today anyway; he's sick. We aren't playing our instruments either," Shikamaru muttered, still appearing to be quite asleep on the snare drum.

"WE DON'T NEED OUR INSTRUMENTS?!" Kiba yelled, drawing attention from everyone in the room. There was complete silence as the sentence sank in.

Shikamaru looked up.

"Yeah. Didn't anyone else read his note? No one?" He looked around at the frozen faces and sighed, pointing to the front of the room. "So troublesome," he muttered.

As one, the class turned their heads to the front of the room. A single yellow post-it note was on the whiteboard. Kiba walked over to read it.

"'Hey class, I'm not coming today—sad face—I have the flu. Enjoy your free day—happy face—from the desk of Asuma Sarutobi.'" Kiba paused, glancing at the sax he'd spent ten minutes preparing to play. "Well shit."

oOoOo

After things calmed down in the band room, Hinata spent most of her time hanging out with Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, and Shikamaru's friend Chouji, who played the French horn. She'd looked for Neji, but it seemed that despite not needing to play his instrument, Lee felt a calling to keep practicing his serenade of youth, which bore a striking resemblance to "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star".

When the bell rang, she walked with them all to their next class, Honors English. Apparently they all shared this class.

"Hey dog-boy!" a voice called as they entered the class, "You're in honors?"

Hinata turned and immediately recognized the blond from the bathroom. The thought of his…_activities_…made her blush furiously in embarrassment.

"Naruto! Why is that so surprising?" Kiba questioned indignantly, "Anyway, we missed'ya this morning! Where were you in band, it was a free day," Kiba called from across the room. He dashed over to Naruto, dragging his group, including a bright red Hinata, with him.

"So Kiba, who's the new guy?" Naruto looked at Hinata, curioius as to why she was blushing. Mentally, Hinata panicked.

_He's looking at me! He's looking at me! Did he see me before? What if he recognizes me and thinks I'm some disgusting voyeur! And then he'd sue me and I'd go to jail and then I'd have to go to a girl's jail and then I'd have to wear a dress and then people would find out my real gender and then they'd tease me and then—_

Hinata's mind was in overdrive. She didn't even stop to consider how ridiculously implausible her thoughts were.

"Oh yeah, this is Hisoka, he's pretty cool," Hinata faintly heard Kiba introduce her, "He lives near me and—Hisoka? HISOKA!"

Shikamaru caught her as she fell. The massive rush of blood to her face combined with her overloaded brain had caused her to faint.

"Troublesome," he muttered before taking Hinata to the nurse's office.

oOoOo

Neji felt like crying for the umpteenth time that day as Lee towed him to psychology. In the classroom, he checked the seating chart and was relieved to see he'd be sitting next to TenTen, and, more importantly, away from Lee.

TenTen felt obligated to comfort Neji, knowing firsthand how traumatizing Lee's youthfulness could be until one built up a tolerance. Of course, this didn't stop her from reveling in the Neji torture. After sobbing on TenTen's desk for twenty minutes (during which TenTen braided his hair) something occurred to Neji.

"Hey, aren't we supposed to have a teacher here or something?" He asked TenTen.

"I guess he's late," TenTen shrugged. Most of the class was chatting, not particularly concerned about their education. Five minutes later, a masked man walked through the door.

"Hello class. My name is Kakashi, and this is psychology one. Next semester you will be learning about economics. Any questions?" That had to be the shortest syllabus Neji had ever heard. A few students had raised their hands. Kakashi called on TenTen.

"Why are you wearing a mask?" Several other hands went down, indicating that this was the question they'd wanted to ask.

"To study the effects of facial features on socialization and trust, one of the subjects we might study this semester."

_Might? _Neji wondered. A student in the front row didn't bother raising his hand.

"So we'll see your face next semester, during economics?" he asked.

"Hell no." Several students were shocked that a teacher was swearing. Neji raised his hand.

"Yes?" Kakashi called on him.

"Mr. Kakashi—"

"Just Kakashi please," Kakashi interrupted.

"Oh. Um, Kakashi, why were you late?" Neji asked.

"Well, you see," Kakashi began, "my rosebush died."

"Your… rosebush?" Neji couldn't see how that could make him late.

"Yes," Kakashi nodded, "Shame, really. I'd hoped no embers would land on it."

"Embers?" Neji was still confused.

Kakashi nodded solemnly. "From the fire."

"Wait, what fi—" Neji was interrupted.

"Of course, once the garage roof was burning I should've known there was no hope." Neji's eyes widened.

"How did your garage—"

"Oh, it was an accident, the car had some faulty wiring. A spark caused the fire. The car was a deathtrap really."

TenTen jumped in at this point, "So why were you driving it?"

"Oh, I wasn't in the car. Pakkun was trying to start it."

"Pakkun?" She asked again.

"My dog," Kakashi explained.

"_Your dog_ was driving the car?" Neji asked in disbelief.

Kakashi scratched his head. "Well, he had a good reason—"

TenTen remembered something. "You said the car was in the garage, and the garage caught on fire… Ohmigod is Pakkun okay?!"

"Oh yes, he's fine. Just some singed fur, don't worry about him. My father on the other hand…"

"Was he in the car?" The boy in front asked with a raised eyebrow. At his point the entire class was intrigued.

"Of course! Pakkun was going to drive him to the hospital!" Kakashi chirped.

"Your father needed to go to the hospital?"

"Uh huh," Kakashi nodded, "He broke his ankle in the explosion…"

"EXPLOSION!?"

oOoOo

"Are you sure you're okay Hisoka?" Shikamaru asked as they waited outside the nurse's office. The door was locked, and the sign on the front read "out to lunch".

Hinata nodded, still a bit flushed and embarrassed about her fainting episode.

"C'mon then. It's too late in the hour to go back to English, we'll just skip ahead to fifth hour before—"

The bell rang, interrupting him.

"Crap! Hisoka, over here!" He pulled them both into a small alcove as a low rumbling made itself heard. In the hallways doors were flung open, and hordes of students stampeded towards the commons. People raced obsessively to be in front, tripping their opponents and shoving them aside. At least four people broke fingers after being forced into the walls, and one poor soul was trampled by a good third of the crowd. Backpacks burst as people clawed at them, dragging their wearers back. Hinata covered her mouth as she watched a huge teen scramble to be ahead of everyone else, stepping on others with total disregard in a hurried frenzy when—

He stopped, and waited calmly with everyone else in the slow moving lunch line.

Hinata shot Shikamaru a questioning look, but Shikamaru was too distracted to notice it.

_Hisoka's hair, _Shikamaru thought, _smells really nice. Almost like… lavender! And just a hint of vanilla._

Hinata waved a hand in front of Shikamaru's face, which was currently sporting a dazed look. He focused on the hand and snapped out of his thoughts.

"Oh, um, sorry. That was the lunch rush for A lunch. Lunch rushes last about two minutes while all the idiots try to get their food first. There's three lunches: A, B, and C," Shikamaru began explaining, "Your class is assigned a lunch based on which pod, or section of the school, your fifth hour class is in. Pod A goes to A lunch, and so on. We have C lunch, so we won't eat until after our fifth hour class, honors world history and geography."

Hinata nodded. Shikamaru had started walking during his explanation and they soon reached their class. Because honors English and social studies classes were planned together, everyone in honors English was also in honors geography. Hinata fiercely avoided looking at Naruto as Kiba and Shino asked if she was alright. Suddenly there was a tap on her shoulder.

"Hey, you're Hisoka, from my first hour, right?" Hinata looked at the blond girl for a few moments before recognizing her as the one who was fighting with Sakura, the pink-haired girl, over paint colors. Hinata nodded. "Well I'm Ino. I was thinking I'd get to know you a bit better, so come sit at my lunch table, okay?" She winked.

Hinata's eyes widened. Was this girl _flirting_ with her?

"Um, s-sure," she stuttered out.

"Cool! Just follow Shika, he knows where we sit!" Ino chirped before going over to gossip with Sakura.

"Nice job, Hisoka! You got Ino Yamanaka, the prettiest girl at KHS, to ask you out!" Kiba slapped her on the back, almost knocking the wind out of her.

"Sh-she just asked me to sit with her at lunch!" Hinata defended indignantly as a light blush dusted her cheeks.

"Oh don't be so shy, I bet all the girls at your old school thought you were a cutie!" Kiba teased. Technically this was true, since there were no girls at her old school.

"'Sides Kiba, everyone knows Ino can't hold a candle to my precious Sakura in feminine beaut—OW! Damn it Ino, stop throwing crap at my head."

"That was me, Naruto!" Sakura yelled back, "Insulting my best friend won't make me go out with you!"

Naruto winced as he rubbed the bump on his head. "What if I complemented your throwing arm?"

Hinata was blushing again, though now it was because she was embarrassed about fainting in front of Naruto rather than the bathroom incident. There was a fraction of her blush that could certainly be attributed to that. Not to mention the part that wondered why he was flirting with a girl.

Needless to say, she was very grateful when the teacher entered, twenty-five minutes late, and everyone found their desks.

"Hello class, I'm Kakashi, and this year you will be learning about different countries and their histories. Any questions?"

Naruto raised his hand but asked his question without bothering to wait for Kakashi to call on him.

"What's with the mask?"

"It's a demonstration for when I teach you guys about ninjas," Kakashi answered.

"Sweet! We're learning about NINJAS?" Naruto exclaimed.

"No. Any more questions?"

"But, you just said… Damn it you're confusing!" Naruto cried out.

"Please don't swear in my class Naruto." Kakashi deadpanned.

"Hey! How did you know my name? And if we aren't learning about ninjas can we see your face?"

"Hell no."

"You—you just, but you said—I mean, you just swore!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Kakashi as he babbled unintelligibly.

"I'm exempt. Naruto isn't allowed to ask any more questions, but does anyone else want to ask something?"

"Uhm, Mr. Kakashi?" Sakura asked tentatively.

"Just Kakashi. Do you have a question?" he corrected.

"Er, Kakashi then. Why were you so late?"

Under Kakashi's mask, where no one could see it, a sadistic smirk was spawned.

"Well, you see," Kakashi began, "my rosebush died…"

oOoOo

**AN: Whoot! Chapter three! I officially added ShikaHina to the story's description, I'm glad everyone's looking forward to it. Next chapter: more ShikaHina, more Gai, more Gaara, and more Neji torture! :D Thank you everyone for your reviews, they're AWESOME! They're so awesome, you should review **_**right now**_**, just to be a part of the awesomeness, what do you say? **


	4. Hanabi Who?

"That poor, unfortunate man!" Lee cried out as he ate his lunch, a homemade meal consisting of broccoli, lettuce, key lime pie, and green eggs (no ham). "To lose almost his entire family in a tragic explosion, only to have the only survivor, his dear beloved father, nearly burn to death in his own garage!" Lee lamented.

"Don't forget the rosebush," TenTen added, stealing a bite of Lee's pie.

"_The rosebush!_ Such beautiful blooms of youth shall never grace this fair earth again! We shall have moment of silence."

Neji stared at him in disbelief. Was Lee really going to be quiet?

"Moment over!" Lee began using his eloquent language skills again, now describing the importance of his haircut—in iambic pentameter. The other three at the table effectively tuned him out.

"I do hope you two realize Kakashi was lying," the pale boy sitting across from Neji said. Neji nodded, but gave him an odd look.

"Who are you anyway?" Neji asked. The boy gave him a strange, fake smile.

"Sai."

"So… why are you sitting here?"

"Because I can."

And so, Sai was added to Neji's circle of friends.

oOoOo

Shikamaru sighed. "I don't know why Ino even bothered asking you to sit at our table, she knows you're sitting with me anyway."

Hinata shrugged, still embarrassed about being flirted with. The two were walking over to a table at the end of the commons. They'd both gotten school lunch, but only after there was no risk of losing limbs trying to get in line.

"Hisoka! Glad to see you!" Ino said as Hinata sat down next to Shikamaru, "I was worried that Shika had gotten lazy and sat down at a table closer to the lunch line."

"And listen to you yelling at me halfway across the commons? No thank you. Women are so troublesome…" he sighed, "So what did we miss in English?"

"We got an essay. First day of school and we've got to do homework," Chouji grumbled, setting down his tray, which was piled with a mountain of food.

"Well, I thought it was a great assignment. One and a half pages talking about my goals for this year? Where should I start? Will I be able to fit everything? I want to get straight A's, have a solo in choir, bring the softball team to state _again, _participate in show choir, get the leading role in all three plays—" Sakura was interrupted.

"Ha! No way forehead! I'm way prettier than you! I'll definitely be getting the lead role in every play!" Ino scoffed, "Wouldn't you agree Hisoka?"

"Uh," Hinata began, wide-eyed.

"You, pig? Pfft. The director cringes when he sees your face!" Sakura interrupted.

Hinata wasn't sure if she should try speaking again. "Sorry about them. Don't bother answering if they try to drag you into their squabbles, they won't notice," Shikamaru mumbled to her under his breath as the two continued to trade insults.

"Hey! You defended my beauty today!"

"Are you kidding? I was defending your_ dignity_! There's a difference, not that you'd know it. Besides, it was mostly just an excuse to hit Naruto." The two girls began giggling, forgetting their fight in favor of Naruto torture (they've yet to discover Neji torture). Shikamaru used this lapse of yelling to get a word in edgewise.

"So, the paper. How many points is it?"

"Fifteen," Sakura answered without hesitation.

Shikamaru did some mental calculations. _Assuming the teacher devotes about 400 points total to essays throughout the year and weights it 25%…carry the one…give myself a 2% margin for error… I can miss turning in about 42 points and still get an A-._

"Yep. Not gonna do it," Shikamaru said confidently. Ino smacked him milliseconds later and began scolding him. Sakura looked at Hinata nervously.

"Er, sorry about them. Hey, you're in my math class, right?"

Hinata nodded, recognising her as being one of the girls in tears.

"Hard test, wasn't it? But did you see how calm Sasuke was about it? It was like he wasn't even taking a test!" Sakura let out a lovesick sigh. Hinata chose not to point out that Shikamaru had certainly been more blasé about it. She doubted it would have the same effect.

Chouji took pity on her.

"Sakura," he reminded her of the table's unofficial golden rule, "no guy wants to hear you rant about Sasuke."

She hurried to cover her mouth. "Ack! Sorry Hisoka! You're just so easy to talk to," Sakura began.

_Probably because I don't talk back, _Hinata thought while mentally rolling her eyes.

"And Sasuke," Sakura gave a dreamy sigh "he's just so easy to talk _about._"

Suddenly, Hinata noticed a commotion at the table behind Sakura.

"You bastard!" Naruto yelled.

"Idiot!" Sasuke replied, smoothly destroying his calm-tempered reputation by leaping across his table to strangle the blond. The two battled it out amidst the screeching of Sasuke's fangirls, Sakura included, for a whole thirty seconds before a tall, busty blond broke them up.

"My office. Now." Hinata assumed she was the principal as she watched the two boys march to the office, shooting heated glares at each other. Sakura wept because Sasuke didn't acknowledge her particular squeal out of the hundreds of his other fangirls.

"So, Hisoka," Ino finally paid attention to her invited guest, "what was with your fainting episode?"

"Uh, um, l-low blood pressure!" Hinata stammered out an excuse, "It runs in the family."

"Oh? You should be eating more than, shouldn't you?" Ino gestured to her still mostly full plate.

Hinata nodded and hastily bit into an orange to avoid talking, before realizing she hadn't peeled it. Wincing at the peel's aftertaste, Hinata finished the bite she'd taken before tearing off the peel.

"Anyway," Ino continued, "it was so glad to see a guy in art class who _isn't _trying to get an easy A." She threw a not-so-subtle glare towards Shikamaru, who tuned in to the conversation.

"What about Sai? He's pretty serious about art," Shikamaru pointed out.

"Sai doesn't count, he's gay," Ino retorted. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"And how would you know this?"

"Oh puh-lease. It is so obvious. Those skintight pants he wears? Or that half shirt? No straight man would be caught dead in those. And one of his paintings used only shades of pink and purple."

"Maybe he's just secure in his masculinity, Ino."

"Ha, you don't know anything about boys Shika."

"Ino… I _am_ a boy."

"Exactly! Boys don't know anything." She stuck her tongue out at him.

Shikamaru sighed, rolled his eyes, and dragged Hinata to gym.

oOoOo

Hinata let out a sigh of relief. They'd managed to reach the locker rooms before anyone else. She proceeded to gather her gym clothes and head into the bathroom to change.

_That's odd,_ Shikamaru thought, _Maybe he's just shy about his body._ He shrugged and changed. After changing, they both headed outside, as it was an outdoor gym class today.

They both lay in the grass, calmly watching clouds as the rest of their class trickled out of the school. _It's so nice to just sit with him, _one thought.

Eventually they were joined by Shino and Kiba.

"Sheesh. Where is the teacher? Please tell me this one isn't late!" Kiba whined.

Suddenly a horde of firecrackers went off all around the field, sending multicolored sparks into the air. Although Hinata noticed there was more green than anything. An emerald blur ran around the class in a large circle before cart wheeling into the center of where everyone was sitting.

"HELLO CLASS!" Gai bellowed into his loudspeaker, holding out his thumb in the traditional good guy pose. Several students covered their sensitive ears, harmed by the youthfulness of Gai's voice. "It is so great to meet you all on this lovely day of youthful springtime!"

"Isn't it fall?" Kiba asked.

"It is always youthful springtime, for you are just in the springtime of your youth!" Gai yelled enthusiastically. "Now, class, give me twenty!" he cried, pointing at the track. Kiba's jaw dropped.

"Twenty laps!?" he asked incredulously.

"What? No! Don't be ridiculous," Gai answered to Kiba's temporary relief. "Twenty MILES!"

oOoOo

Neji entered his chemistry room to see the lab tables all set up, with lab partners and instructions written on the board. He sat at the front table with his partner, Sasuke Uchiha. The moment the bell rang, a teacher with long, greasy dark hair walked through the door, locking it after him. Neji could see a girl who had been just a second late hammering on the door, begging to be let in.

The teacher ignored her.

"I am Professor Orochimaru" he stated, inspecting the class, who stared back with wide eyes. "Well, what are you waiting for? The directions are on the board. Anyone who hasn't started in the next five seconds will be docked points." Neji immediately started the water boiling.

"Creepy long-haired freak," he mumbled under his breath. Sasuke gave him an odd look. "What?" Neji asked.

Sasuke smirked. "Oh, nothing. Did you know the entire left side of your hair is braided?" he asked innocently.

Neji twitched. _TenTen will pay, _he thought to himself. All in all the lab was fairly easy but long. He and Sasuke finished just before the bell rang.

_I can just hope this day ends better than it began,_ Neji thought after leaving chemistry and heading to Gym. His hopes were dashed away as he saw his gym teacher and broke down sobbing.

"Nice job Neji! How wonderful of you to water the grass with your tears of springtime youth!" Gai called out cheerfully. He decided to reward Neji by having him run an extra two miles.

oOoOo

"Do you want to walk home?" Shikamaru asked Hinata.

Hinata gave him an 'are you INSANE?' look. Even though she didn't get anywhere near the requested twenty miles, she'd been about ready to collapse after gym. She actually couldn't remember anything about her last class, biology, as she was fairly sure she'd slept through it. Thankfully, Shikamaru assured her there was no homework. Shikamaru hadn't been nearly as affected by gym, probably because he hadn't put much effort into it, and had been about a mile behind the rest of the class.

"D-do you want a ride?" Hinata asked to Shikamaru's surprise.

"No, thank you, I'm good." He smiled, not wanting her to feel bad.

"Oh. Um. See you, then," Hinata said before walking towards her father's car.

Neji was already in the front seat when she collapsed in the backseat. Neji glanced at her. "Gym?"

Hinata nodded. Neji seemed to have suffered a similar fate.

"So," Hiashi interjected, "how was everyone's first day of school?"

Hinata and Neji both weighted their day. The green, the chaos, lunch rosebushes, tests, and all. "Oh, you know," Hinata eventually answered, "Okay, kind of boring."

"Uh huh," Neji agreed.

"Well that's good," Hiashi said cheerfully, "At least it wasn't one of those crazy hectic days. Say Hinata, there's a sale at that boutique downtown…"

Hinata rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to go dress shopping with you father."

_Curses, _Hiashi thought, _foiled again…_

"Hm. Well then, why don't we all go out for some ice cream, just the family?"

_Ice cream?_ The cousins thought simultaneously. "Yes!" they both shouted.

At the ice cream parlor, Hinata spent ten minutes trying to choose a flavor, having samples of each kind before settling on cherry chocolate chip. Neji ate his own strawberry cone. Hiashi, unaware of Neji's recent green trauma, chose pistachio.

"How's your ice cream, Hin- Hisoka?" Hiashi asked. He was glad to see her eating pink food. _Maybe I can convince her to get a pink shirt…_

"It's good! I really like the little bits of cherry," Hinata said cheerily. _Cherry… Huh. Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something? _Hinata thought.

Neji stared at Hiashi's ice cream cautiously, as if it would attack him. Not like his fear was unwarranted.

_Cherry, red… Something red…_

Hiashi noticed Neji's attention was on his ice cream. "Want to taste?" Hiashi held out the cone, complete with two stacks of green ice cream.

_No, someone... Someone who likes cherries?_

Neji looked absolutely horrified. "No, no. It's fine really," he protested as he hid behind his own blissfully pink strawberry cone.

_Or dislikes them?_ Hinata mentally shrugged, giving up trying to remember. _Oh well. It's probably nothing important._

"You sure?" Hiashi asked, worried about his nephew's reaction.

Neji nodded his head vigorously.

"…okay then."

The Hyuugas continued to talk and eat ice cream for another hour.

_It's so great to spend an afternoon with the entire family, _Hiashi thought.

oOoOo

Hanabi sobbed on the stairs in front of her school. Her father was supposed to pick her up over an hour ago! Not to mention today had been the worst day of her life.

"Hey, is something wrong? You 'kay?" A boy about a year older than her asked, sitting down next to her.

Hanabi knew her manners. She knew it was rude to cry in public. It was even more rude to cry on total strangers. It was rude to dump all your problems on a total stranger. Even if someone asks they probably don't want to know. And the first rule of small talk was if someone asked you if you were okay, you said yes.

"No! No I'm not okay!" Hanabi wailed, throwing her face into his chest, "Today was my first day of school. I didn't know anyone and I got lost and was late so people teased me! Then they teased me because I look like a cherry because I went tanning but didn't tan and Neji said it was because of my jeans but I wasn't wearing jeans so I don't get it!"

She looked up, finally registering the fact that she was crying on a total stranger. Which she knew was rude.

"Uh, uhm, I'm sorry! That was so rude of me," Hanabi apologized and blushed, pushing herself away from the boy's (admittedly comfortable) chest.

"Huh? No, really, it's okay. It sounds like you need someone to listen to you don't you?" He stood up and offered her his hand. Hanabi took it and smiled as she stood up, wiping tears off her face.

"I'm Hanabi."

"I'm Inari!" He grinned. "Hey, I'm meeting my grandpa for some ice cream, wanna come?"

"Well, my father was supposed to be an hour ago…" Hanabi said nervously before her face hardened. "But if he's not going to show up he can come find me!" she declared defiantly. Inari laughed.

"That's the spirit! C'mon, what else happened today?" he asked as they began walking.

"Well that bastard Konohamaru threw milk at me and it ruined my dress so the nurse had to give me a new outfit and it isn't cute at all…"

oOoOo

Hinata chomped on the last bit of her cone, sans ice cream. She grimaced at her sticky, cherry-stained hands. Something was still nagging her at the back of her mind.

"You done?" Neji asked, standing from his chair.

Hinata nodded. _Dislikes cherries… I hate cherries… cherries are disgusting!_ Hinata suddenly made the connection. "Oh my god, Hanabi!" she cried out.

Hiashi's eyes widened comically. _Shit, I forgot to pick her up!_ His inner fangirl panicked, running around in circles around his head while screaming. He grabbed his keys and was about to stand up from his chair when his thoughts were interrupted by the deceptively pleasant chiming the door made when opened.

"Then the teacher looked at me like I was an idiot but I know I was ri—"

Silence.

Inari looked at Hanabi, curious as to why she'd cut herself off midsentence.

"YOU!!" Hanabi shrieked dramatically, complete with dramatic finger point. Hiashi looked like a deer caught in headlights. "You were supposed to pick me up forever ago!"

"H-Hanabi! I'm so sorry, I, we, I mean I just kind of—" Hiashi tried to stammer out an excuse.

"Forgot about me? You jerk!"

"I'm so sorry Hanabi; it'll never happen again, I promise! I'll make this up to you what do you say about shopping tomorrow…"

Suddenly both Hanabi and Inari began giggling.

"You're right, he does look funny when he's apologetic!" Inari exclaimed.

Hiashi's jaw dropped. His daughter was _laughing_ at him? "H… Hanabi?"

Her face turned steely. "Shut up. I haven't forgiven you yet. Inari's going to get me an ice cream, and then you're taking me home!"

Hiashi could do nothing but wave his faithful, white, "I surrender" flag and agree, overcome with guilt for forgetting his youngest daughter.

oOoOo

Gaara was sitting at the computer, staring at his inbox. _Hisoka's e-mail is late,_ he thought. He refreshed the screen. No new messages.

He refreshed it again.

And again.

And again.

_Finally. _Gaara opened the message. He marveled at the size of the e-mail. _Hisoka never leaves anything out of his e-mails; he must have had a long day…_

His eyes widened as he read about his best friend's day. It included everything from painting to the "bathroom incident" to rosebushes to Hanabi being forgotten.

After reading it he stood up and headed to his sister's room. She didn't look up from her magazine when Gaara burst into the room. "Gaara, out." Temari's room had always been strictly off-limits.

"Can we move to Konoha?" Gaara asked.

Temari glanced up. "Why?"

"Now."

"I said why, not when."

Gaara looked her in the eyes.

"Hisoka needs help," he said brusquely, turning and walking out. Temari could only stare in confusion.

"What was that about?" Kankuro asked from down the hall.

Temari shrugged. "How does moving to our Konoha house for a while sound?" Their family was rather wealthy and owned several different houses. Their Konoha house was more of vacation cabin but was certainly nice enough for the siblings.

"Seriously? Sweet! Have you called Dad yet?" Their father was working overseas for the year and had left Temari in charge. Still, a change in address was something he was likely to want to know about.

Temari held up her cell phone and held down two on her number pad, her father's speed dial. The sand trio were packed and ready to move to Konoha by Friday.

oOoOo

"You're kidding, right?" Neji asked, staring at TenTen in disbelief. It was Friday, and Neji personally congratulated himself for surviving the week. Not long after he agreed to it, TenTen secured him a job at her mother's costume shop. Today was Neji's first day.

It was an easy job, really. All Neji had to do was stand outside their downtown shop and advertise the store, Dress Me Up Costumes. Of course, he had to stand out there in a costume. Of TenTen's choosing.

And TenTen had chosen a rather revealing Egyptian pharaoh costume. Not only did it barely cover his legs, it left his entire midriff bare.

"TenTen, people will think I'm a prostitute!" Neji protested. He was currently staring at his reflection in the mirror.

"Don't be ridiculous Neji. The minute they start hitting on you they'll realize you're a total prude," TenTen replied as she began applying his makeup. Yes. Makeup. Neji felt like crying, but he didn't want to mess up his mascara.

When she was done TenTen handed him a headdress and shoved him out the door. "Have fun Mr. Pharaoh!"

As it turned out TenTen was right. The two people who had hit on him apologized profusely after realizing their mistake. Although the police were harder to convince. "Y-yes officer, Neji's just advertising for the," TenTen said through her fit of giggles, "for the store. He's really not a, a _prostitute_!" It was too much for TenTen, who collapsed on the street in a fit of giggles. Eventually the police also apologized for the misunderstanding before driving off to harass some other teenagers.

"TenTen, can I _please_ change into something decent?" Neji begged once TenTen had regained her ability to breathe.

"Nonsense Neji! Your shift ends in thirty minutes, you can handle it," she assured him before ducking into the store. The police car had attracted quite a bit of attention, and the store was now rather busy.

Neji had been standing on the sidewalk for about fifteen minutes when another car pulled up. Neji watched in awe as the most gorgeous girl he'd ever seen stepped out. Her golden hair was pulled up into four ponytails, and her face was perfectly sculpted. _And what a figure,_ Neji thought to himself as his eyes wandered. The woman cleared her throat, and Neji swiftly returned his gaze to her aquamarine eyes.

"Could you give us directions?" she asked, gesturing to her two siblings in the car, "We're trying to find…" she paused. "Just what, exactly, are you wearing?" Neji blushed.

"Um, well, you see—" he began.

"Neji?" Kankuro called as he got out of the car, "Is that you?"

Neji groaned. Kankuro was in his grade, and he'd never really liked him.

"Holy crap! What are you _wearing?_" Kankuro echoed his sister.

Neji sighed. "It's for my job," he began.

"You're a prostitute?!" Neji glared at Kankuro.

"No," he bit out, "I'm not!" Neji held up the flyers in his hand. I'm advertising for Dress Me Up Costumes."

"Oh. I suppose that makes more sense…" Kankuro chuckled nervously.

"Er, anyway, do you know how to reach this address?" Temari handed him a slip of paper. Neji did a double take. They were moving in right next door to him!

"Yeah, head up Sarutobi street then take a left on Mulberry lane. It'll be the third from the right."

Temari eyed him suspiciously. "Didn't you just move here a few months ago? You gave surprisingly specific directions."

"Um, yeah. You're moving in right next to me," Neji explained. Temari nodded.

"Huh. See you 'round then."

Neji nodded dreamily as they sped off.

"She was hot," TenTen said from behind Neji.

"Shut up."

"Neji and blondie, sitting in a tree: K I S S I—"

"SHUT UP!"

oOoOo

**AN: I realized I'd completely forgotten about Hanabi for two chapters and couldn't believe myself. So her scene was partly to make up for that. Eh, I didn't get nearly enough ShikaHina in this chapter. It's coming soon, I promise! And yes, Inari/Hanabi and possibly Neji/Temari. Because why should I stop at one crack pairing? If any of you are wondering why I chose Inari, the kid from the Zabuza saga, it's because of the newest manga chapter. He makes a brief reappearance and guess what? He's **_**cute.**_** At least I thought so. So I wrote him in. **

**Oh, and a whole ton of you liked Kakashi's rosebush excuse last chapter, so I thought I'd fill you in on the origin of that. Okay, when my mom was a wee little kid, my grandparents told a joke that was kind of like Kakashi's story. A man returned from a long business trip and asked what happened while he was gone. "Well, the rosebush died," his wife begins. And it keeps getting worse: his garage burned down, his kids stole the car, his mother died, etc. So, when my mother burned down the garage while my granddad was on a business trip my gram began filling him in with "Well. The rosebush died…" (cue glare at my mother)**

**I just thought the hedging around a bigger catastrophe was so Kakashi. :P**

**I love each and every one of your reviews. They make me grin and giggle and write! Write lots. :D So REVIEW (please?)! **


	5. Sand Shield

Gaara and his siblings strode through the doors of Konoha High School five minutes before the bell rang. Temari wasted no time in heading to woodshop, her first class. Kankuro began trudging up the stairs to his. Gaara didn't move.

Sai noticed him on his way to the art room. Gaara stood out like a sore thumb in the hurry and flurry of students trying not to be late. And when Sai took a closer look, he noticed something else about the redhead.

"Are you wearing eyeliner?" Sai asked shamelessly, observing the dark circles around Gaara's eyes.

Said eyes wasted no time in death glaring Sai, who seemed unfazed. Other than that, Gaara didn't respond.

"You are," Sai smiled, "Are you going to stand there or do you need help finding your class, Mr. Makeup artist?"

Gaara increased the intensity of his glare towards Sai. He'd been looking for Hisoka, and thought he might've seen him in the corner of his eye, but no. It was this imbecile. Who Gaara decided wasn't worthy of his time. Gaara turned and began walking towards advanced algebra.

"Or the girl's bathroom is that way, if you need to apply more eyeliner," Sai supplied unhelpfully.

Gaara halted. Pivoting slowly back towards Sai, he fixed his face into his most menacing glare of ultimate demise. Even Sai admitted it was more than mildly frightening, and Gaara could see it on Sai's face, though he tried to hide it.

Gaara really hadn't meant to get off to a bad start at his new school since he was really here to help Hisoka, but this? This was a matter of utmost pride. Fixing him with one final glare, Gaara spoke in a malicious undertone before storming off.

The bell rang, and Sai still stood in the entryway, Gaara's monstrous green eyes etched into his vision, and Gaara's words echoing in his ears.

"_It's guyliner, moron."_

oOoOo

"Pens?" TenTen asked.

"Check." Neji responded.

"Pencils?" She was helping him prepare for French.

"Check." Neji held up fifteen delightfully yellow pencils. The last thing he needed was to borrow a writing utensil from Monsieur Gai.

"Whiteout?" This was usually used to cover up horrendously cute pictures of over-fluffed kittens, puppies that were so-damn-_adorable_-you-could-just-_shoot_-them, pathetic primates, severely creepy china dolls, and bizarre creatures that resembled green smurfs. For some reason Gai found it essential that these pictures were plastered onto each and every worksheet.

"Check." He held up a small, white bottle.

"Green-out?" Gai's green ink was absurdly intense; normal whiteout couldn't hide it.

"Check." Neji held up a much bigger bottle.

"Earplugs?"

"Check."

"Sunglasses?" Neji's eyes were quite sensitive, and sometimes M. Gai felt the need to exchange his usual emerald shade of green for a murderously bright neon one.

"Check."

"Emergency passes?"

"Check," he replied holding up two band lesson passes and four permission slips to leave the building for dentist appointments. All six passes had been forged.

"Doctor's notes?" TenTen had five forged doctor's notes (from five different doctors) stating that she had a sore throat and wasn't permitted to speak in class.

"Check." Neji had ten.

TenTen nodded. "Alright, that's everything we put on the list. Did we forget anything?" she asked, looking up from their clipboard. Neji shook his head.

"Not that I know of."

"Okay then, brace yourself…" They cautiously entered the room. Neji scanned the class for any sign of Lee or Gai; he was pleased to see neither were in sight.

Most of their class stared at the board with vacant eyes. At least a third of the class was asleep. A few seats were empty, indicating that their occupiers hadn't seen French worth coming to that day. A group of three was crouching behind a barricade of desks. One girl repeatedly hit her head on her desk, asking "Why? Why? Why?" to no one in particular. Only one conscious student appeared to be unaware of the graveness of the situation.

"Kankuro? What are you doing here?" Neji asked.

"This is my new French class. What do you think I'm doing here?"

Neji groaned, Kankuro was just as rude as he'd been at Suna, and he still had those ridiculous face markings. And now he had to share a French class with him. _Wait a minute, _Neji thought, _he's stuck here with Gai too. And he has no idea of what he should expect._

Neji held back a sadistic grin. Suddenly this class was sounding a lot more fun.

oOoOo

The painting class had finally gotten their paper. It had taken a week, but Anko had only needed to swear at thirteen or so people and in only four different languages, so she was satisfied. She strolled around the room, which contained all twenty-four of her students painting at easels. Since it was their first day working with paint, she let them paint what they wished before they got into large projects.

She realized there were quite a few people painting their crushes. _I could be a matchmaker just by pairing people up with their paintings,_ Anko thought.

She then noticed Shikamaru's painting (or lack thereof) and proceeded to ask him just what in the _hell _he thought he was doing.

"I'm painting a polar bear," Shikamaru said while gesturing to the white paper, "in a blizzard."

Anko almost yelled at him for being a lying slacker, when she took a closer look at his painting. _Huh, _she thought while studying the paper, _There really is a polar bear._ It was slight, but Shikamaru had used various shades of white, faint yellow and light blue to define a polar bear surrounded by snow.

"What's that in its paw?" Anko asked.

Shikamaru was glad she'd finally seen his work. "It's drinking milk."

Anko nodded, walking across the room to help Naruto clean up a paint spill.

Hinata gave the painting a look, and after deciding that yes, there was a polar bear, she returned to her own work, a rainbow stretching over a lake and forest.

There was a sigh to her right, which startled her, as Shikamaru was on her left. She glanced at Sai.

"You're lucky," he said.

Hinata gave him a questioning look.

"She notices you. She _flirts_ with you." He gestured to the front of the class, where Ino was giggling with Sakura, occasionally shooting glances back at Hinata. "Ino is a living, breathing, work of art. The way a lock of her fair hair falls from her ponytail to the side of her face, the icy coolness of her eyes…" Sai sighed once more before returning to his painting which was indeed of Ino.

"I've been striving for her attention for almost two years, and all you have to do is walk in here and she's flirting with you. What could you possibly have that I don't?" Sai wondered, half to himself.

"She thinks you're gay," Shikamaru replied bluntly. Sai had been making a long, quick stroke left with his brush, which left his fingers at Shikamaru's words.

"_What?_" he asked in disbelief and turned to look at Shikamaru in shock, before catching sight of Hinata. "Oh. Um, sorry," he said nervously. When Sai had let go of his paintbrush it had flown over and smeared magenta paint, which he had been using for the background, across Hinata's cheek. It was rather obvious, what with the way it clashed with her blush.

"N-no, it's fine," she assured him before heading towards the sinks, which were in the supply closet.

"She seriously thinks I'm _gay?_" Hinata heard Sai ask as she walked away.

While she was walking, Ino noticed her. She stared at Hinata for a split second before she had a revelation, and proceeded to drag Sakura away from the class to share this revelation.

"What was so important that you had to drag me away from Sasuke's portrait Ino?" Sakura asked, annoyed. The two were now standing outside the supply closet.

"Ohmigod, Sakura, just listen for a sec, I just realized something," Ino gushed.

"I'm listening for another three seconds," Sakura said as she tapped her foot.

"It's about Hisoka."

At that moment, Hinata had opened the closet door just a crack. She had finished washing her face and was about to walk outside. When she heard Ino's statement she was about to let her presence be known, so Ino wouldn't say anything she didn't want Hinata to hear. But Ino spoke before she could open the door completely.

"Sakura, Hisoka's _gay!_" Ino said in a loud, obvious, whisper.

_I'm what?!_

oOoOo

"_Bonjour_ class!" Gai bellowed enthusiastically, as he tumbled through the door.

"_Bonjour_ _Monsieur_," the class reluctantly replied.

"_Bravo_! Today we shall continue acting out _Le Petit Prince_ with—"

Dramatic pause.

"Puppets! Who shall be our volunteer _première?_" The class as a whole avoided eye contact. Normally they would depend on Lee to take the fall for them, but it seemed the boy was sick today, as he had not arrived. Only one person raised his hand.

"Neji! Are you insane?" TenTen whispered.

"Neji! _Voila!_ But you and Lee volunteered all last week to act out the scenes. You should allow one of your other classmates to do this instead, _oui?"_

_Parfait, _Neji thought. "Of course _Monsieur_! Why don't you have my friend Kankuro help you?"

Kankuro shot him a baffled look. Neji smirked.

"_Fantastique! Merci Boucoup! _Thank you for volunteering, Kankuro!"

"I really didn't volunteer…" Gai ignored him.

oOoOo

"Hisoka is… gay?" Sakura asked, skeptical.

Ino nodded vigorously.

"And… what on this planet would lead you to that conclusion? You've only known him for a week!"

"Well, for one, no matter how much I flirt with him, he shows no interest whatsoever!"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Just because a guy doesn't like you doesn't mean he's gay. He probably just realized you're a pig. Or maybe blonds aren't his type."

"No. Blonds are his type," Ino grinned, "Remember how he keeps fainting and blushing around Naruto?"

Sakura took this into consideration. _Maybe Ino's got something here..._

"And just now, he had pink paint on his cheek. _Pink!_ A straight guy wouldn't be using pink paint!"

"Ohmigosh, Ino, you're right!" Sakura squealed.

The bell rang.

"We'll have to talk about this more later," Ino assured her before they left to gather her stuff.

Hinata stumbled out of the closet with a flaming blush.

oOoOo

Neji stared at Kankuro. _Is he actually enjoying this? _Amazingly enough, Kankuro seemed to be a good puppeteer. He wasn't even embarrassed at having to do the special voices Gai insisted on.

They finished the chapter with about half of the class left, so Gai announced that they'd be starting a new unit, French geography. He had a map on the overhead and was currently introducing the class to France's various mountains and rivers.

"I will give you each your own, _personal _copy in living black and white!" He handed out copies of the maps as well as ridiculously complicated instructions for coloring.

"_D'accord_! A couple things I want to tell you spirits of youth! First, when labeling, be sure to write everything _horizontally._ I've had numerous students in the past who attempted to squeeze some of the illustrious place names in sideways, and it makes Monsieur Gai ill when he must keep turning _la carte._ I nearly spewed emerald vomit on an entire classes maps, I was so dizzy!"

Neji turned green. _Okay,_ he thought, _write horizontally. Though honestly, can't he just read it sideways without turning the paper? It's not that hard…_

"Second, when coloring, be sure to use a careful side to side motion, and keep it all one direction. The maps look beautifully neat this way! I will take points off if _vos cartes_ are not magnificently meticulous." Gai then proceeded to demonstrate this several times.

"Like we haven't been coloring since kindergarten,"TenTen muttered sarcastically.

"Finally, the directions say to color the mountains purple, so I would like everyone to make absolutely _certain_ they use the colored pencil that says PURPLE on it." He held up a pencil as an example. "This pencil," he held up another, "looks like purple on the outside but is actually _orchid._ I will take points off if anyone uses this color as it isn't youthful and is too light and pink to count as the lovely purple…"

The bell rang. Neji thanked God every day for that bell. He practically ran out the room.

"What was that about, Hyuuga?"

Neji turned to face Kankuro. The tension in the air wasn't quite thick enough to be cut through with a knife, but it was close.

"What was what about?" Neji's innocent ploy probably wouldn't be effective, seeing as he was grinning while he spoke.

"You know what! The puppets, Neji."

"Oh, but you looked like you enjoyed putting on a show Kankuro! Here," Neji pulled out his cell phone and pressed play, "I even got video footage! Want a DVD?"

Kankuro narrowed his eyes. "You will regret that, Hyuuga," he declared and walked away.

oOoOo

"Hello! You must be Gaara. I'm Mr. Umino, your new honors English teacher," the brunette said.

Gaara stared at him.

"Oh, um, we don't have a desk for you yet. Well we had an extra desk—actually we had three—but Sasuke and Naruto keep breaking them and we didn't think we'd need another one so soon. To be honest students usually can't enter the honors program when they transfer here but seeing as you were all honors at Suna and top of your class and seeing as it's so early in the school year and everything…" Iruka trailed off, realizing he was rambling. He scratched his nose. "Well, anyway, until we get another desk you'll have to sit on he floor and share someone else's desk space if that's okay."

Gaara grabbed the seating chart, resulting in an undignified "eek!" from Iruka when it was snatched out of his hands. Gaara sat down on the floor next to one of the desks on the far right, near the door. Many people gave him odd looks as they walked in, but only one stopped to chat.

"Hi! Are you new?" the blond asked cheerily.

Gaara ignored him. Naruto was used to this.

"So, how is the floor? I've always imagined it's comfy seeing as it's carpeted and all. But then again everyone walks on it everywhere so it's probably dirty. Why are you sitting here and not in a desk? Hey do you like ramen? I do!" Naruto continued to babble and ask questions without expecting any answers.

_Does it ever shut up?_ Gaara thought.

"Hey Naruto! What's up with him?" Kiba asked, pointing none to subtly to the statuesque Gaara, "and why's he sitting on the ground next to Hisoka's desk?" Gaara perked up at the sound of Hisoka's name.

"Oh, he's my new friend—"

_Friend?_ Gaara thought.

"—um. Hey, what is your name?"

Gaara looked at him. He belatedly placed him as the boy from the infamous bathroom incident, according to Hisoka's e-mails. And the other one was probably dog boy. He turned back to Naruto. The bathroom incident clearly identified his sexuality, and though it implied he was in a relationship, one could never be sure.

"Are you interested in Hisoka?" Gaara asked. The last thing his friend needed was an idiot like this for a boyfriend.

"W-what?!" Naruto was caught by surprise. "No! I mean I don't even know him really! Kiba and Shika and Shino know him way better—"

_Do they? _Gaara thought, _I'll have to watch them._

"And he's nice but he's kind of odd and blushes and faints a lot and—HEY! Are you implying I'm gay? B-because I'm not! Really." Naruto denied abruptly.

Gaara raised a doubting eyebrow. Naruto blushed. Gaara continued staring at him until he saw someone walk through the door.

"G-gaara!" Hinata eyes were wide in surprise. _Gaara never said he was coming to Konoha,_ she thought. While Hinata left almost nothing out of their e-mails, Gaara had a habit of leaving out important details from his.

Hinata and Gaara stared at each other for all of two minutes, while Kiba and Naruto, joined by Shikamaru and Shino, stared curiously at the two. Then, to everyone's utmost shock, something astounding (and moderately horrifying) happened.

Gaara smiled.

And Hinata smiled back, taking her seat as the bell rang.

After everyone had taken their seats, Iruka began lecturing the class on how different points of view in a story had different effects. Gaara pulled out a piece of notebook paper and slid it to Hinata.

'What are you doing here?' she wrote before sliding it back to him.

Gaara thought about his answer to this. _If I tell Hisoka I'm here to help him he'll be embarrassed and try to brush it off… If I say I missed him, he'll still be embarrassed about all the attention… Either way things are really awkward… Hmm…_

'Temari wanted to see Neji' Gaara wrote. Okay, Gaara wasn't being honest. So sue him.

Hinata looked surprised. 'Neji, my cousin? Why?'

'She has a huge crush on him.' Gaara made up. He would have to burn this note once they were done; Temari would kill him if she found this.

Hinata blinked. _Huh. I never would've guessed that…_

"Hisoka!" Hinata jumped. "Can you tell me the answer?" Iruka asked.

_Crap crap crapcrapcrap! What is the answer? What is the question?!_

Gaara quickly scribbled something on the paper, looking like he was jotting down notes. She glanced at the sheet.

"Um, s-second person?" Hinata responded.

Iruka smiled. "Very good! Now then, we're going to split into groups of four to do an activity!" There was a brief moment of chaos as everyone tried to squeeze into a group with all their friends. Gaara and Hinata were together, naturally, along with Shikamaru and Naruto.

"So why aren't you in Sasuke's group?" Shikamaru asked Naruto.

"Hey! Why should I be in that bastard's group?" Naruto defended crossly.

Shikamaru lifted an eyebrow. "You're always in his group Naruto," Shikamaru deadpanned.

Naruto looked sheepish. "Heh heh… really? Er, anyway, it's because of Mr. Umino. He said we can't be in any more groups together because we keep breaking his desks."

Shikamaru gave him an odd look. "You've been in this class for a week Naruto. How much damage can you cause?"

Naruto shrugged, still looking embarrassed. "Hey! Let's start on the activity!" Naruto used his brilliant adverting skills.

Shikamaru grabbed the instructions and read them. "Hm. We have to come up with a scene, then each of us has to write the same scene in a different point o' view. Then we've got to fill out a worksheet about it… Any suggestions for a scene?" Shikamaru asked.

"Ooh! Ooh! What if we did a scene about—"

"If it involves ramen the answer is no." Shikamaru interrupted.

Naruto pouted. "Fine, what great ideas did you have?"

Shikamaru pondered this. "Mmm… we could do a scene about people writing. Or a guy walking on the sidewalk. Or clouds."

"Damn it Shika! We have to do something _exciting!_ Like NINJAS!"

"Or first degree murder." Gaara said in a low voice.

"…"

"…"

"…Let's not." Shikamaru said, giving Gaara a wary look. He looked at Hinata. "Any ideas?"

"U-um. W-what about a group of people stranded on a desert island?" she suggested.

Shikamaru nodded. "That sounds reasonable. Any objections?"

There were none.

"I call first person!" Naruto declared once they'd straightened out the details.

"Hisoka, you can do second person," Shikamaru said. She nodded. Shikamaru continued, "Gaara gets third person omniscient and Shikamaru gets third person limited," he finished, addressing himself in third person.

After fifteen minutes most groups had finished, including theirs.

"Alright! Does anyone want to share their writing?" Iruka asked after collecting the worksheets.

"I do!"

"Raise your hand Naruto," Iruka said, sighing exasperatedly. After they'd gone through the proper protocol, Naruto began to read his piece out loud.

"I got up and brushed the sand off of my clothes. The last thing I could remember was the plane going down and people screaming. I looked at the other survivors. There were only ten of us left, and I was the undisputed leader—"

Sasuke began to snicker.

"Shut up bastard! I'd so be the leader!"

"Naruto, just continue with your story," Iruka tried to intervene.

"Maybe if they're trying to kill themselves, moron." Sasuke commented.

"Sasuke just let Naruto finish his story—"

"Nuh uh! I'd be a million times better than_ you_ anyway!" The two continued to bicker, despite Iruka's attempts at calming them.

"At least with me they'd be following someone STRONG, not just a pasty ass wimp like YOU!" Naruto yelled.

"Are you calling me weak!?" Sasuke's eye twitched, "I'll show you who's WEAK!" He tackled Naruto, and they began brawling in the classroom as the rest of the students scrambled to get out of the crossfire.

"WHO'S WEAK NOW, HUH?" One shouted, hurling the other into a row of desks.

"NOT THE DESKS!!" Iruka cried out.

oOoOo

This time the nurse was in, which was a good thing. Both Shikamaru and Gaara had escorted Hinata down. She had been hit by a flying desk. Amazingly enough both Naruto and Sasuke came out of the brawl without a scratch, just a month's worth of detention. And a six hundred dollar fine to replace the desks.

"Does _this_ hurt?" the nurse, whose nametag read 'Shizune', asked, poking her right arm.

Hinata bit her tongue to hold back her girlish shriek. She nodded forcefully, blinking back tears of pain.

"Hmmm... I don't think it's a break, but if it hurts that much you won't be able to write for a while," Shizune said, inspecting her arm. "Can either of you two take his notes in class?" she asked.

"I will," they answered simultaneously. Gaara gave Shikamaru a suspicious glare.

"I'll take them," Shikamaru said again, "We're in all the same classes."

"Perfect. You don't mind, do you Hisoka?" Shizune questioned as she handed her an ice pack.

She shook her head

Gaara continued to eye Shikamaru as he helped her up the stairs to geography. The desk had also bruised her leg, causing her to limp slightly.

When they reached honors geography Gaara was happy to learn he'd be sitting next to Hisoka. As soon as they sat down, Gaara handed Hinata a note.

'Who is he? You didn't mention him in your e-mails.' Gaara was referring, of course, to Shikamaru.

Hinata blinked. He was right. She never really managed to squeeze Shikamaru in amidst all the craziness that had happened last week. It was rather nice, really, to have a friend who wasn't insane.

'Shikamaru. He showed me around. He's nice.' She wrote. Gaara was still wary of him. Gaara, after all, needed to protect his lofty position as Hisoka's best friend.

oOoOo

**AN: So, um, er… my rosebush died? Heh heh. Anyways, sorry about this being later than usual. I would love to blame the lateness on some family tragedy or house fire or excessive schoolwork or last minute Broadway audition or something. You know, something that's actually a half decent excuse. But alas! 'Tis only an extended visit from my dear childhood friend Procrastination. I'm sure you've all met him (her?) before. A terrible houseguest, I must say. Always overstays his welcome.**

**On another note… Yay, Gaara! ^-^ And YAY REVIEWS! :D I absolutely adore getting reviews from all of you! So if you would please just press that link right down…. THERE! Er, a little to the left. Wait, no, you had it before. Move your cursor to the right a titch. Uh huh… Now down a bit… THERE! Just click and type, it would be much loved! :3**


	6. Matchmaker, Matchmaker

"Hello pharaoh boy, mind if I sit here? No? Good?" Temari let her tray slam onto table so she sat directly across from Neji.

TenTen grinned at the sight of Neji's googly eyes. _No,_ she thought, _he certainly doesn't mind._

Neji couldn't think at all. That is until Kankuro sat down next to him. And kicked his shin.

Neji glared at him.

He glared back. "Stop checking out my sister, Hyuuga." Kankuro hissed.

Neji smirked. He didn't like the thought of him and Temari? Too bad. Neji really hadn't planned to do much more than ogle the blond, but perhaps he could up the ante.

"So, Temari. Are you seeing anyone?" he asked casually, earning another kick.

"Hm. Well, literally speaking I see you. Like, with my eyes. Your eyes are rather creepy, has anyone ever told you that?" Temari responded.

Neji blinked. "No. They are?"

"Hell yeah Hyuuga. They're like, dead. I honestly thought you were blind when I met you." Kankuro answered for Temari.

Neji remembered that. They were in third grade, and somehow Kankuro had confused blindness with deafness and had shouted at him for the remainder of elementary school. What's worse is then the entire school thought he was even more deaf as he'd started ignoring Kankuro's yells. His ears still rang as he recalled forth grade.

This time, he kicked Kankuro.

Who yelped loudly.

"Kankuro, stop playing footsie with Neji," Temari scolded, "Ignore Kankuro, he's going through a sexuality crisis."

"Hey! I am not!"

"Oh, you finally realized you're gay?"

And as Temari continued to tease Kankuro, Neji decided he really _really_ liked Temari.

oOoOo

Since she found out Ino and Sakura thought she was gay, Hinata very purposely avoided making eye contact with them. It was rather difficult, seeing as they sat directly across from each other at the lunch table. To avoid their stares she settled for looking between Gaara and Shikamaru who seemed locked in a silent battle of wits. Or Gaara was anyways. Shikamaru just looked sleepy.

She'd invited Gaara too eat lunch with them, as they had one chair left open at their table. Of course Gaara agreed and of course Gaara wanted to sit next to her. Unfortunately, Hinata had sat down in her usual spot next to Chouji and Shikamaru plopped down right next to her, leaving the only seat open between Chouji and Sakura.

The only thing Gaara liked about this was the fact that Shikamaru sat directly across from him, making glaring just that much easier.

A few minutes passed in awkward silence. Ino and Sakura stared at Hinata, who looked at Gaara, who glared at Shikamaru. Chouji ate.

"Who's your friend Hisoka?" Sakura asked diplomatically.

"I'm Gaara." His eyes never moved from Shikamaru.

Silence once again prevailed. It wasn't long before everyone had finished eating. Ino nudged Sakura and tilted her head towards Hinata. Sakura nodded.

"Hey, Hisoka, do you want to come to the library with me?" Sakura asked, "Great! I'll show you where it is." Sakura proceeded to drag her away without waiting for an answer.

Once they'd reached the library Hinata looked around. There really were some interesting books here. She was surprised she didn't see Gaara though, maybe Ino had distracted him so Sakura could get her alone.

"Okay Hisoka, Ino and I know you're… you know… gay."

Hinata blushed, despite expecting it. "Um, a-actually I'm n-not," Hinata corrected.

"And that you have a crush on Naruto," Sakura continued without regard to Hinata's words.

"I, I don't—"

"But we really don't think Naruto is your best option!"

"I, I r-really don't have a-any feel—"

"I mean for one, he's about as straight as men get," Sakura reasoned.

Hinata decided she wouldn't even try to correct her there.

"And you could do a million times better! I mean, you're really smart and all and Naruto… he…" Sakura struggled to come up with the right word, "…isn't," she finished.

"So we decided we'd find you a better boytoy, and get you guys together, kay?" Ino chirped from behind Hinata, effectively startling her enough to make her fall flat on her face. And on her bruised arm.

"Haaaah… Ooow," she moaned, then concentrated on lowering her voice again to protest. "N-no I really don't n-nee—"

"Nonsense! You don't have to be shy around us! So what do you think of Chouji? No, he'd crush a tiny thing like you…"

"You can't have Sasuke, he's mine, and he's straight. Sai maybe?"

"Nah, he's gay but I don't think Hisoka's his type."

"What about your friend Gaara?" Sakura asked.

Ino shook her head. "Too creepy. Who else do we know…" They continued to ponder that.

Hinata took this brief silence as a chance to say something. "I r-really don't need hel—"

"SHIKAMARU!" the two exclaimed simultaneously.

"He's perfect! He's got to be gay what with the way he always says women are 'too troublesome'," Ino said

"Yeah! And you two are both really smart and all, it'll be perfect chemistry!" Sakura chimed in.

_Surely intelligence isn't her only factor in romance… right?_

"Not to mention you two would be so CUTE!!" Ino squealed.

"Don't worry Hisoka, we'll have you two dating in no time, leave it all up to us!"

"No need to thank us!" Ino called back as they exited the library, already discussing plots to get Shikamaru interested. "Maybe if we taped him to a chess board…"

"Or what if we got one of those sky writers!"

Hinata still stood in the library when the bell rang, eyes frozen wide in shock.

_What. Just. Happened?_

Hinata whimpered, then collapsed into a puddle on the floor, terrified of Sakura and Ino's matchmaking schemes.

oOoOo

"Hanabi, didn't I ask you to clean your room an hour ago?" Hiashi asked.

"Oh, did you? I must have _forgotten_." Hanabi remarked scathingly.

Hiashi winced. It had been almost two weeks since the ice cream incident and Hanabi still hadn't forgiven him. He knew he deserved it, but still. What's more, Hiashi felt particularly guilty because no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't figure out a way to blame this all on Neji.

There was a knock on the door. "I'll get it!" Hanabi exclaimed eagerly, scrambling to the door. Today Inari agreed to take her out on their first official date, a movie. She stopped, fixed her hair, smiled and opened the door. "Hi—" Hanabi looked at the person in the doorway, "not-Inari. Who are you?"

"I'm Shikamaru. Is Hisoka here? I need to give him some notes."

"Yeah. Just a sec," Hanabi said. She closed the door and took a nice, long, deep breath. She took out her minature timer and pressed start.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Shikamaru, on the other side of the door had to cover his ears. Hanabi's shout lasted for 46.2 seconds. Exactly. She timed it. It wasn't a record breaker, but then again, she hadn't had much practice lately.

"Do you really need me or are you just practicing?" Hinata asked as she walked down the stairs.

"There's a boy here for you." Hanabi gestured to the door.

Hinata looked puzzled. Gaara never said he was coming over today. Neither did Kiba or Shino. She opened the door to the sight of Shikamaru nursing his ears.

"Hey Hisoka. You forgot to grab your biology notes." He handed her a stack of papers. "Oh. And here." He pulled out a card. "Ino wanted me to give it to you. I'unno what it is."

Hinata opened it. "It's… It's a-an invitation." She looked up. "To your birthday party."

Shikamaru was genuinely surprised. "I have a birthday party? When is it?"

"Saturday."

"Huh. Maybe I'll show up. Where is it?"

"Y-your house."

"Oh. I guess I'll be there. See you Hisoka!" Shikamaru gave a halfhearted wave and walked off.

"Who was that?" Hiashi asked. Hinata sighed. She knew this was coming.

"He's my friend. Shikamaru. He's taking notes for me because my arm is hurt."

"Hm. How does he know where we live?"

Hinata shrugged. "I don't know. He probably asked Kiba or someone."

"Or maybe he's a stalker."

"Father!"

"You don't know these things Hinata, you've only known him for a few weeks! He could be a serial arsonist! Or a mass murderer! Or an alien! What have always told you?"

"Never trust boys," Hinata recited. "So what about Neji?" she asked.

"Never _ever_ trust Neji. This is all his fault anyways…" Hiashi grumbled.

"What is?" Hinata asked.

"Oh, everything."

oOoOo

Shikamaru sighed. Why was it necessary to celebrate his birth? It wasn't like he was that great anyway. And birthday parties were so _loud._ At least the ones planned by Ino were.

Ino and Sakura had arrived earlier that day to remodel his house for the party. Amazingly enough, his mother had no objection. Although Shikamaru suspected she was still trying to set him up with Ino, as they were childhood friends. "How many people did you invite?" Shikamaru shouted over the heavy bass. Sakura apparently had a state-of-the-art portable stereo system, which they'd hooked an iPod up to instead of renting a DJ.

They'd also cleared his living room of all furniture except the couch Shikamaru currently lounged on to create a makeshift dance floor and covered the room in black lights, strobe lights, multicolored lights, disco balls, and other shiny decorations. A large banner stretched across the wall across from him that read "HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY!". Shikamaru assumed Ino had gotten it last minute, as it was pink. Or, at least he hoped so.

"We invited anyone who said yes," Ino replied, "Where's Hisoka? You did remember to give him the invite, right?"

Shikamaru nodded. He hadn't seen Hisoka either, and couldn't help wondering when he'd come.

Chouji sat down next to him.

"Nice snacks," he said, gesturing to his plate of hot dogs and chips.

"Thank Sakura and Ino. It's more their party than mine. Why did they throw me a party anyway?"

Chouji shrugged. "Have you moved from that spot since the party began?" he asked.

"Nope."

"You know Ino's going to make you dance, right?"

"I'm currently planning an escape for when she tries that. What do you think my chances of getting out the window are?"

"Before Ino realizes? Zip."

oOoOo

Hinata stood outside Shikamaru's house. As it turned out they lived fairly close to each other, so she'd walked to the party. She'd actually heard it before she'd seen it, and now she was almost afraid to go in. There was simply so much noise and chaos.

_Okay,_ she thought, _deep breath…_

The second she opened the door, Hinata was caught in a web of dancers. _Does Shikamaru even know any of these people?_ she thought as she struggled to get out from the middle of the dancing mob.

"HISOKA! Over here!" Hinata turned to see Sakura gesturing excitedly. After a few minutes Hinata was able to successfully navigate her way across the room. Sakura took her present for Shikamaru and led her into the dining room, where it was much quieter as people moved about and ate.

"Glad you could come. Sorry about the living room, you looked terrified on the dance floor. Just stay in here, we're making Shika blow out candles in a bit," Sakura said.

As if on command, Shikamaru trudged in, Ino grinning happily behind him.

"HISOKAAAA! You made it!" Ino exclaimed.

"Hey." Shikamaru barely raised his hand in a low-energy wave.

"We'll get the cake!" Sakura and Ino said in unison, leaving the Hisoka and Shikamaru alone.

"Happy birthday."

Shikamaru smiled. "Thanks. This party is troublesome though."

Hinata nodded, agreeing whole-heartedly. It just didn't seem right for Shikamaru to have such a ridiculously big party.

"Happy birthday too you…" Ino began, holding a cake with sixteen lit candles. The rest of the guests joined in the out of tune rendition of the birthday song. Hinata cringed, especially at Naruto and Kiba, who were singing in (very bad) falsetto.

"To yoooooouuuuu!!" Naruto finished holding the last note about three octaves higher and twelve beats longer than necessary. "Make a wish Shikamaru!"

"I wish Ino and Sakura would leave me alone," he deadpanned, ducking their fists.

He blew at the candles, and all but one went out.

"Hah! It only comes true if all the candles go out. You're stuck with us Shika!" Ino proclaimed.

oOoOo

Over the next few months Ino proved herself right. Everywhere he went it seemed he would be joined by the two girls who for some reason kept steering him towards Hisoka. It was obvious something was up, though he wasn't sure what. _I just hope it's not some troublesome matchmaking attempt or something._ Of course, the longer this went on, the more certain he became that that's what it was.

On Halloween, for example, they stuffed Shikamaru in a prince outfit and tried (and failed) to get Hisoka into a princess costume.

And throughout November they'd suggest going on walks together, then mysteriously get lost, leaving him alone with Hisoka. Every time.

Not to mention that as soon as December 1st hit, mistletoe had started appearing everywhere he went, especially around classes he and Hisoka shared.

Thankfully his family dragged him on vacation over Christmas break. Somewhere nice and sunny, where he didn't have to do anything for a whole two weeks. He'd even gotten a tan, as Naruto noticed their first day back in art.

"Shika! I can't believe it! Not only did you have to go outside to get that tan, but you actually got on a plane to go somewhere warm! You _did something on vacation!_" Naruto flailed his arms in excitement.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Hold still please." Their first project back was to paint a partner. Unfortunately, Anko had chosen the partners, and of course he had gotten the one kid who couldn't sit still to save his life. So he hadn't started painting yet. Maybe he could convince Anko his blank canvas was an illustration of the blond's thought process.

"Shikamaru! Stop making Naruto squirm and just paint him already!" Anko called from the back of the room. _Crap, she noticed._ Shikamaru sighed and picked up his brush to start painting the boy. After getting his general shape down Shikamaru began looking for details to add to the painting when one detail in particular caught his eye.

"Naruto… Why do you have a hickey?" As far as he knew, Naruto didn't have a girlfriend.

The tips of Naruto's ears burnt red as his hand went immediately to cover his neck. "Eheheh. I don't know what you're talking about Shika."

_Man, Naruto's a terrible liar, _Shikamaru thought. "I'm talking about the red spot on your neck Naruto, don't be an idiot.

"Oh, um. So you see, I was vacuuming and then there was this spider web in the corner so I got out the little tube thing so I could suck it up but, um, but… a spider! Yeah, a spider attacked so I dropped the tube thing and I fell on the floor and it attached to my neck and now it looks like a hickey. But it isn't."

"…Uh huh."

Naruto decided that lying wasn't working, and chose to take a more indirect method of avoiding the question: avoiding the topic.

"Are you trying out for the play?" Naruto asked out of the blue.

"No."

"Are you _suuure?_ It's Shakespeare! You're smart, so you like Shakespeare, right?"

"It's Romeo and Juliet. I have no desire to be in a love story."

"Aw, you're so unromantic. It'd be fun!"

"No. It'd be troublesome."

"You're such a party pooper. You at least have to see the show, alright?"

Shikamaru let out a resigned sigh. Across the room, Ino was having a similar conversation with Hinata.

"You really should try out! It never hurts. And it's lots of fun! I could totally see you as Benvolio or Friar Lawrence."

"N-no thanks Ino. I don't like public speaking."

"Well you'll have to go see it then, a bunch of us are trying out, at least some of us will get in. I personally am certain I'll be Juliet!"

"No you won't pig! I'm Juliet!" Sakura called as she posed for Sai, who was disgruntled at the fact that he couldn't paint Ino. She noticed a small tub of paint balanced precariously on top of Ino's canvas and was about to warn her when Ino responded.

"Pfft. I don't remember Shakespeare ever saying Juliet had a three mile wide forehead!" Ino called back.

Maybe Ino didn't need warnings after all.

"Yeah, well, Shakespeare didn't mention Juliet being covered in purple paint either."

"Huh?"

Sakura giggled as the paint that had been on the verge of tipping over finally fell on her friend.

oOoOo

"Oh, Neji! What a wonderfully joyous springtime day this is! To be young and in LOVE!" Lee gushed. After months of Neji and Temari flirting, Lee had finally noticed it.

"Shut up." Neji's face was burning. "I'm not in love."

"No, it's just an adorable schoolyard crush isn't it Neji?" TenTen chirped.

"_Not helping,_" Neji hissed.

"A crush! Alas, my dear friend! You suffer from unrequited love!" Tears gushed like rivers down Lee's face. "Worry not! I shall make the beauteous Temari fall for you a hundred times, or I will run around KHS two hundred times!"

"What are you, practicing for the play?" Neji asked.

"Lee's actually got a point there. You've been flirting since September and it's already January. It's about time you actually started getting somewhere, don't you think?"

He sighed. "I would already be somewhere, if it weren't for her brother."

The two were fighting a secret war. About a week after the sand trio arrived, pictures of Neji in his pharaoh costume _mysteriously_ found themselves all over the school bulletin boards. Not long after, Kankuro's puppet show had become incredibly popular on YouTube.

Of course, this backfired on Neji, because apparently Kankuro was such a good puppeteer he was hired by the local community theatre. Neji had received three tickets for his show in the mail, which were promptly torn up. He felt guilty though after finding out they were sent by Gaara. Hinata and Hanabi had wanted to see it, and Hanabi had planned on bringing Inari. They still got to go, but Neji had to buy the tickets.

Neji encouraged Lee to get Kankuro to assist him in French demonstrations.

Kankuro told Gai Neji didn't always understand what he meant in French, causing Gai to "help" Neji in ten one-on-one sessions.

Neji stole Kankuro's face paint.

Kankuro cut an inch off of Neji's hair.

Neji's eye twitched. That had been going too far. You could ruin his dignity, you could make him spend money, you could even lock him with Gai. But god help you if you cut his hair.

"Right. Kankuro. What are you going to do to get back at him?" TenTen asked.

Neji grinned. "What I should've done in the first place. Date Temari."

oOoOo

Some things, as it turned out, were easier said than done. Neji spotted her in the library, reading Romeo and Juliet.

"You like Shakespeare?" Neji asked as he sat next to her.

"Nah. Not really. Romeo and Juliet is the exception. I heard it was going to be the winter play and thought I'd reread it again." Temari responded without taking her eyes off the page.

"Are you trying out?"

"Yeah, of course. I've always wanted to be Juliet. Are you?"

"Nah, acting isn't really my thing." He took a breath to compose himself. This was the moment. "Hey, Temari, I was wondering if you'd like to go ou—"

"No."

Neji's jaw dropped. "W-why?"

Temari set down the book. "Look Neji, you're cute, and I know you like me, but you aren't what I'm looking for in a guy. You're cool and all, but I'm more into the passionate type. Like him." She pointed to the portrait of Romeo on the cover of her book.

Neji couldn't believe it. _Did I just lose to a fictional character?_ He was about to give up. As wonderful as Temari was, he really wouldn't liken himself to Romeo. Well. Kankuro would be happy.

Kankuro.

The thought of Kankuro's smug face at knowing he'd been rejected.

Neji's determination returned in full force. He grabbed a copy of Romeo and Juliet. She wanted Romeo? He'd be Romeo. _When are those damn play tryouts? _he thought.

oOoOo

**AN: Okay. I have good news and bad news. Let's start with the bad news first. **

**BAD NEWS: I'm going on vacation. How is that bad? It isn't really, not for me anyway. But we're going camping. Which means no electricity, no computers, no internet, and, most importantly, NO UPDATES. For about a week. Sorry, working on the next chapter is my first project once I get home, I promise.**

**GOOD NEWS: I'm currently plotting out and writing two new stories. :D Yeah, not that exciting, but I'm happy. One is an idea I've had for almost a year and yes Adell, the other is that KabuxHina I promised you. I've put up breif summaries on my profile. Feel free to tell me what you think. I'm really looking forwards to writing them, but don't worry, this is my first fanfic and therefore my first priority until it is done! After vacation of course.**

**I absolutely love all of your reviews, thank you! See you all in a week! **


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